House Keys

Regret

He regretted it.

Oh GOD did he regret it.

The look on the man's face said all. He was innocent. He really did not steal Namjoon's keys. Namjoon was just having a bad day, feeling particularly cross at the fact that his life was the same thing ever since the boy was in grade 10.

With one glance, Namjoon could see that the guy was telling the truth. Of course Namjoon realized it too late. When the man shoved his keys into his hand, Namjoon could see that the keyring actually WAS broken.

This was one thing Namjoon HATED about himself.

His Strength.

Even if he didn't do it, he'd be blamed for breaking things. He couldn't control himself. It was hard. He hated it. He wished he didn't destroy everything he touched. His family, friends, and even his cousin Seokjin made SURE that Namjoon was never near fragile objects.

Even if he'd been standing still, his glasses would break. Even if he walked carefully, a tile on the floor would break. EVEN IF HE TRIED HIS BEST, HE COULDN'T CUT AN ONION WITHOUT SEOKJIN'S SUPERVISION.

But this was the least of his worries. He HAD to get in touch with that mysterious man. He had to apologize. Maybe Namjoon was a complete idiot to yell at that guy without knowing the story, but when else could he show his manliness? He'd only yelled at that guy because of pride.

Pride was one thing Namjoon didn't want to connect himself with. Pride eats you alive and makes you blind until everyone around you slowly disappears from your side.

He felt sad to admit it, but Namjoon did have something he wanted to put his pride into. It was his manliness. It's something he does unconsciously, and it resulted often in fights and arguments when he started high school.

He was defensive. People in high school had always said he wasn't manly. They were right. The only thing manly about him was his strength and height.

His hobbies and mannerisms were quite girly, and it was something he admits. He liked pink and had even dyed his hair pink. His way of sitting was crossing his legs, as if he were wearing a skirt (which was something he often did to "break gender stereotypes"). He even walked like a girl, his swaying hips attracting many boys.

He even liked boys. Just like a girl.

Yes, that's right. Namjoon was gay and never hid it either. He was gay and proud. Namjoon liked boys in the past, but he's never had a proper boyfriend. Namjoon had 1 girlfriend in his entire life, and she was the one that made him sure he was gay.

She had been touchy and always wanted to kiss. Whenever her lips touched his, he would shiver and pull away in disgust. Whenever she offered to do "IT" with him, he always had an excuse not to. She never got the clue and always came onto him so strongly. He hated her and himself for putting himself in this situation.

While they were dating, a boy by the name of Su Kyungsoo confessed to him in tears. He explained that he liked Namjoon and found it unfair that Namjoon had chosen to be with a girl, even though his actions clearly showed that be was disgusted by her. In a fit of anger and jealousy, Kyungsoo kissed Namjoon. Namjoon found that kissing Kyungsoo felt much better than kissing his girlfriend, though he knew that he didn't like Kyungsoo the way Kyungsoo liked him. So Namjoon broke the kiss and apologized to Kyungsoo.

Namjoon broke out of his thoughts, feeling extremely regretful towards that guy, whom Namjoon thought had a pretty handsome face. He didn't mean to be so rude.

He didn't mean it.