“I- I forgot to take... t-to take my...” he couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“Your pills?” I said quietly, not wanting to upset him even more.
“I’m sorry,” he cried, his head still in his knees. I wrapped my arms round him and pulled him into my lap and stroked his hair.
“It’s okay,” I breathed, “calm, okay? Calm.”
“C-can we go for a walk?” he asked, shakily squeezing my hand. I nodded and pulled him up to his feet, but he was still sobbing as he gripped my hand and entwined his fingers with mine while we walked downstairs.
“Okay?” I asked.
“Mhm,” he breathed as I shut the door and locked it behind me. Luke took a shaky breath with a little sob, “God I’m a mess.” He murmured.
“No you’re not baby,” I promised. I didn’t fully understand why or how he felt that way but I just knew that he was in a lot of emotional pain and felt unstable so I had to be there to support him...
“Yeah I am,” he sighed, “you’re better off with someone who doesn’t need fixing.”
“Luke? You mean you’d just let me go if I found someone else?” I argued.
“No, I didn’t mean it in that way and you know it,” he chuckled sadly.
“Come on,” I said, tugging at his arm to get him to run with me through the darkness with only the faint glow of the street lights to guide us. I giggled when Luke started yelling and pulling my arm to catch up with him, and I didn’t even care how his mood had suddenly changed in a split second.
“I’m going to take you somewhere special,” he promised, “it- it’s where I always go when I’m upset.
“Where?” I asked.
“It’s a surprise,” he chuckled.
“C-can I ask you something?” I said, and he nodded, “are you still going to not talk to anyone when we get back to school?”
“Except you,” he said quietly and nervously. On one hand it made me feel special but a little annoyed that he wasn’t even going to talk to Calum or anyone who’d been nice to him. It made me think about how little Carrie and co. had targeted me since I broke up with Luke.
“Not even Lori?” I asked.
“Obviously not,” he murmured.
“Oh Luke,” I whined, suddenly realising that Lori and I had technically dated behind Luke’s back for one night, and even though I had been drunk, it still bothered me that I hadn’t told him.
“Rose-”
“Luke... can I say something? I don’t want you to hate me... or Lori,” I said quietly, and Luke nodded cautiously, “Lori and I technically dated for like one night... but I was drunk and-”
“That fucking bastard,” Luke muttered under his breath, dropping my hand and stopping in his tracks.
“Luke come on,” I begged quietly, pleading that he wouldn’t be upset with me, “don’t be mad, please...”
“I really think I need to g-go back home now,” he said fiercely.
“Luke we were broken up then and-”
“But you knew I still had feelings for you,” Luke choked, “yet you still shoved your tongue down his throat at Ashton’s party.”
Luke turned around and walked away, leaving me stood there with my mouth wide open in disbelief.
“But after that, who did I go crawling back to?” I shouted, making Luke stop and hesitate before turning back round.
“That’s how you see me? Someone you go crawling back to?” he shouted back and I suddenly felt really angry at him for making me seem weak or like I was the bad guy, “you kiss Lori in front of me and then just crawled back to me?”
“You’re the one who used to bang people then leave them! You’re the one who pushed me that night! You’re the one who’s dependant on me because you can’t-” and then I stopped myself. “oh no, no Luke I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to say that. Luke I didn’t mean it, I’m so, so sorry!”
Luke just gave a look of pure hurt and dropped to the floor, his hands shaking as he looked up at me looking vulnerable and broken.
“Th-that’s how you feel?” he choked, “that’s h-how you see m-me? Dependant on y-you? Helpless? Depressed? What?”
“Luke you know I didn’t mean it,” I begged, dropping down to the ground next to him.
“It still hurts that you th-thought it,” he stuttered, avoiding my gaze and looking at the ground, making himself seem a lot smaller and younger all of a sudden, “what’s wrong with me Rose?”
“What do you mean?” I said softly.
“What’s so wrong with me that makes you always-”
“Luke, please just forgive me,” I sighed, “you know I didn’t mean it, and I feel really bad now but you know you’ve done a lot of things to make me upset too.”
“Okay, yeah, but I just-” he stuttered, “it really hurts. I get enough of it at home so I don’t need that with you as well.”
“Ok- wait... what? What do you mean you get enough of that at home?” I said worriedly and Luke continued to avoid my gaze, shifting his body awkwardly and shrugged, “Luke...”
“Just, just my mum, you know that already,” he snapped, getting up from where he was sat and turning away from me, “fuck it’s raining.”
“Okay, Luke I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to annoy you, please Luke?” I said, grabbing hold of his arm. He turned to face me, his lips parted, as he pulled me towards him with a little smirk and wrapped his arms round me, making my body look tiny compared to his tall frame.
“I love you,” he sighed, his head buried into my, now damp, hair as the rain got heavier.
“You’re so god damn tall Luke,” I chuckled, trying to get taller as I balanced on my tip-toes to kiss him.
"I love you," he said.
"I love you Luke," I replied, meaning every word, "and you're not broken. You never were."
He wasn't broken.
