sunflowers and queen of the nights

the sunflower

"Almost."

"almost is such a awful word. it's such a painful word." i said looking at her with tear filled, big blue eyes.

"why?" she asked with the most concerned expression on her face.

i stopped and immediately realized she really didn't understand..so i explained

"i almost passed that class," "i almost got that job i prayed so hard for." "she almost gave me a chance." "he almost made it." i paused for a second, took a deep breath and said "you almost loved me like i loved you."

i realized as soon as i said it, she finally understood what i had spent so long trying to tell her silently.

she stood there for a second and then responded with, "you're wrong. i do love you the way you love me, although, you almost missed your chance to tell me, but you didn't. so today? today my favorite word is 'almost' because it brought me you."

i smiled as she took my hand and together we conquered the world.

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we stood outside for so long

under so many stars and the full moon

he looked at me with the most radiating beauty

and i knew right then

no matter how much distance was between us,

no matter where we were in the world...

he would always be the brightest moon in my darkest night.

--a love that never fades by the sunrise

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"i want to know myself. i want to know myself as well as i knew him. i want to know how i'm going to react o a situation before it even happens or how i feel about something before i actually feel it. i want to know myself better then i ever knew him. and i will learn. i will learn to love myself, just as you have, my darling."

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when my left that night i thought i was going to be missing her for such a long time. that non-existent goodbye was something i thought i was going to haunt me for mornings to come
mourning over a ghost
turns out, i still see your face,
hear you laughing
and this is me
putting myself first
                          -putting myself first
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"she was like a sunflower," he explained "tall, bright, full of life, and easy to bend but never to break."
                                -sunflowers
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i looked down at green grass and trees.

i looked to my right to see mountains with snow covering the very top.

i looked up to see a bright, blue sky and puffy, white clouds.

i looked to my left and saw him standing there, taking pictures of the view around us.

and all i could think about was "how can anyone deny that there is a God above? when he created something as beautiful as the view i have right now." watching her take pictures of the world we live in, together. how lucky am i to breathe the same air as the person that makes my heart full.
                                    -within the
                                              universe
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"that's the thing about finding something your passionate about," he said " even after its gone that light still burns inside of you."
                                    -the afterlife
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