After I was completely awake, I realized that this was the morning of Faith's funeral. I wasn't even ready to do this yet, so I know Blaze wasn't. I mean, we had just buried Ace.
None of us had even had a chance to get over that yet.
I couldn't believe this was happening again. More than that, I couldn't believe that Blaze had been so selfless to stay with me on the night before his twin sister's funeral. He hadn't even gotten a chance to sleep in his own bed yet, since he'd been back.
I looked at the clock and got up quickly. After getting out of the shower, I threw on a bathrobe and walked down the hall. I didn't get very far before I suddenly became faint. I sat on the living room steps and put my head in my hands. I must have been sitting there for over an hour, because the next time I looked at the clock, it was already after eight.
I became faintly aware of a loud pounding on the front door - who knows how long they had been at it - and I was curiously drawn to it like a moth to a flame.
I wondered who in the world could have possibly been at my front door this early in the morning.
Looking up at him, I wondered when the last time was that I had opened my front door and seen Li'l Jay waiting on the other side. I began to think that I never had before.
"So what's this supposed to mean?" I asked.
He shrugged, not up to figuring out what I was talking about. I stepped out of his way and he went straight to the couch and fell asleep. Sitting down in a chair across the room, I watched him. I had never seen him look so peaceful. It occurred to me that they say the same thing about dead people. I went over to him and checked his breathing, just in case. After confirming that Li'l Jay was still alive, I went back to my chair and let him sleep.
There in that chair, on the day of my god-sister's funeral is where it happened to me for the very first time.
I blanked out.
It's happened a few times since then, but back then I had no idea what was going on. I couldn't remember anything. I didn't know where I was, who was in the room with me. I couldn't even remember who I was! It may sound crazy, but I had been working so hard for the past month at remembering everything, that I had forgotten it all.
The only thing that was clear to me was the ticking of my mother's old grandfather clock. I had always hated that thing, and now it seemed to be getting louder and louder with every passing second.
Desperately, I covered my ears against its echoing in my head and closed my eyes. I couldn't breathe. It felt like a vacuum cleaner had been shoved down my throat and was rapidly sucking away what little life I had left inside of me.
A voice floated into my head. I knew it was Faith's by the way she was singing, and my memory rushed back to me in a wave. The power of its return knocked the floor right out from under me.
Someone screamed "Shut up!"
It was probably me.
Then there was a hand on my shoulder. I knew who it was, but I screamed louder anyway.
"It was a dream," Li'l Jay said calmly, knowing as well as I did that we were both wide awake. He knew that I was cracking up before his very eyes, and it amazed me how well he was taking it. I hated to think it, but maybe sometimes drugs did have their benefits. "It's alright, Silly. Everything's ok."
The fact that he was lying to me only pissed me off, and I put all of the anger and frustration that I had bottled up into my fist and took a swing at him. Luckily, my eyes were still closed and he ducked. Gently, he took hold of my hands and held onto them as tightly as he could without hurting me.
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Keeping Up With the Wind: A 'Burban Tale by Suleyma Moon
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