Keeping Up With the Wind: A 'Burban Tale by Suleyma Moon

10.

I awoke the next morning to what felt like a small child's hands shaking me. I must have been dreaming about daycare.

            "Silly, wake up! We have to get out of here!"

            I mumbled something and turned away from Li'l Jay, allowing myself to descend back into the darkness.

            "Get up!" he dumped me off of him. "My legs fell asleep."

            "What time is it?" I whined as I rolled over onto the cold tile floor.

            "It's 7:30. We have to go."

            Everything that had happened the previous night came rushing back to me and I sat up quickly. I was still a little dizzy, but not as much as before. I did, however, feel like someone was pounding on my head and cracking out a new Grand Canyon.

            Li'l Jay stood up and began pacing back and forth, trying to wake up his legs. He pulled out a cigarette, but remembered that we weren't supposed to leave any traces of having been there and put it back, cursing. I chuckled, looking at the bloodstained carpet and wondered how Shadow's parents could possibly not know that someone had been there.

            I looked back at him. "So...what do you think happened?"

            "I don't know, but we have to leave." He pulled me to my feet. The sudden movement sent my brain reeling. "You alright?"

            "Yeah."

            "Think you can make it?" It was only a few blocks.

            "Let go so I can see if I can walk by myself." He let go of me and I fell onto the couch, exhausted after only a few steps.

            Jay threw the jacket at me and pulled me up again. "Put this on. We have to go...now." He looked around regretfully, probably wishing that he could clean up the mess that we had no choice but to leave behind. His eyes rested on the broken ashtray. "No time," he mumbled under his breath, still sounding a little wired.

I looked over at Li'l Jay. The kid didn't look so hot. He probably had one heck of a hangover.

            "Good thing the couch is black."

I was thinking about all of the blood that wasn't showing on it. Aloud, though, I only made reference to the color of the couch.

Luckily, right then, Li'l Jay was so caught up in our crazy lives that he didn't even waste his time trying to figure out what the heck I was talking about.

            Taking hold of my hand, he led me through the front door and closed it behind us. "I wish I could lock it," he sighed. Li'l Jay always was the most considerate one of our group.

            We had gone all the way around the bend of our street before Li'l Jay paused and pulled something out of his jacket pocket. I sat down in the grass and squinted my eyes, trying to get a better look at what he had in his hands.

Glancing around to make sure no one else could see, he opened a small vile and scooped some of the loose white powder into his longest pinky nail. His "coke nail," he called it.

Ace used to have one, too. Li'l Jay had been trying to be like Ace since the day they met. 

I hugged my knees and buried my face in them. Would this nightmare ever end? All I wanted to do was go home. Knowing that it was so close, yet so far, only made it worse.

Li'l Jay began sniffing like he had a runny nose and for the first time, I realized that I was on the verge of a breakdown. All of this was too much. Where was Shadow? My nerves were shot. It was all I could do not to ask Jay to "fix" me, too.

Li'l Jay sat beside me in the grass and rested his hand lightly on my shoulder. "We have to keep going."

I didn't answer.

"Here."

I looked over at what he was trying to pass me under is jacket. He must have been reading my mind.

"No." I looked away from the needle.

"I'm just trying to make you feel good, Silly. Promise. Don't you trust me?"

I remembered hearing those same words from Johnny only a few hours before and looked over at Jay. I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Right then, the only difference between what he and Johnny were trying to serve up was that Li'l Jay really thought he was helping. Even still, his way of "making me feel good" could have hurt me just as bad, if you know what I mean.

At that moment, though, I didn't even care. I didn't even think about the fact that we were doing this out in the open, and in broad daylight. Holding my arm out to him, I closed my eyes tightly and turned my head in the other direction. I had never done needles before and my heart was racing. He pulled my hand down and put my arm into his lap where no one could see. A thousand thoughts raced through my mind. His hands were trembling. I couldn't stop thinking about how wired he was. I looked over at him fearfully.

He gave me a reassuring smile. "It won't hurt. Don't you remember how good it feels?"

I shook my head no, indicating that I had never known how it felt in the first place. I had never done needles before, hated the sight of them. He looked back at me, surprised, and then continued to roll up my sleeve. His hands were shaking, and when he spoke even his voice was jumpy. I couldn't help but think that he would probably miss the vein. I felt the needle stop just above my skin. He didn't even try to check it first.

He'll probably shoot me full of air bubbles, I thought to myself and reflexively jerked away. Li'l Jay wiped the blood off of my arm when the needle scratched me and watched it drip from his fingers.

"Why'd you do that?" His fingers started to shake uncontrollably. "Look!" he cried, and clasped them together. The shaking went up his arms and through his body like an electric current. I watched him, trying to figure out what to do if he passed out.

"Li'l Jay, put that up! Someone's coming!" It was my turn to pull him to his feet.

He put the needle back in his pocket and held tightly onto my hand. The shakes that had once passed through him transferred to me and passed through my own body like a wave. I pulled away quickly, but he didn't seem to notice. We were almost to my backyard, and I was getting weaker by the minute. Dragging my feet, I tried to get Li'l Jay to stop so I could catch my breath.

"I don't think I can make it."

This was his cue to take charge and he was now pulling me. "We're almost there."

When at long last we arrived at my window, I climbed inside and Li'l Jay followed. I felt like I had just come to the end of a very long journey. Little did I know then that this was only the beginning.

"Can I stay here?" He gave me the puppy dog eyes. "I can't go home like this."

I went to the door and looked down both ends of the hall. Complete silence. Then I went to my other window, which faced the front of the house and looked outside. The car was gone.

Li'l Jay's father was now standing in their driveway and looking down the street. Luckily, we had just missed him.

"Are you looking for Li'l Jay?" I called.

He looked around, and then finally focused in on my window. "Yeah, you seen him?"

 I nodded and then turned around and beckoned to Li'l Jay. He had collapsed onto my bed, shoes and all, and was already in a deep sleep.

"I guess he's asleep," I called back.

"Oh." His father sounded aggravated. "Soon as he wakes up let him know that he needs to come home, alright?"

"Alright."

"Thanks." He turned abruptly and went back inside.

I closed the window and went over to take Li'l Jay's dirty shoes off of my bed. Since he had sprawled all the way out and made himself comfortable, I stretched out onto the floor and drifted into an unconscious bliss.