Highs and lows [Imagine Dragons Fanfic]

Nightmare

Platz:

It doesn't take long and Dan is save asleep next to me. I look at him, he looks peaceful when he is sleeping. Just as if he doesn't have any problems. That makes me smile and I lean back closing my eyes too. I don't know why, but for some reason I can't fall asleep. I guess I'm not that exhausted as I thought I am. So I open them again and watch Dan.

As I look at him I pause and take a closer look. He has dark bags under his eyes as if he hasn't slept much during the past few days. I blink, but the bags won't go away, so they are not just part of my imagination. He also seemed more exhausted than the rest of us. He is always the last of us to leave for his room, but also the first one to come back in the morning.

Now that I take a closer look I can see it. I don't know why I didn't see it before, his bags are pretty well defined. A bad feeling makes its way up from my guts. What if he.... No, he can't be depressed again. He acts different than back then. Or do I just surmise it?

Just as I think about him Dan starts moving around. That snaps me out of my thoughts. He can't seem to find a right position as if he feels unwell or well I don't know what. His eyes are also pressed together and I know that he has a nightmare. He always looks the same when he has one. I first witnessed it when we were teenagers, shortly after we got him away from his dad.

I sigh. And now? Let him sleep and fight with his nightmare? Or wake him up even though he is clearly exhausted? Dan doesn't stop shifting around and I can even see his body shaking a bit. That's bad. He always has the worst nightmares I've ever experienced. It's like he has a panic attack while he is sleeping. We once had to wake him up because his shaking increased so much that he had trouble breathing.

I can't let him sleep like that. Better wake him up now, maybe he can sleep later. I touch him on his shoulder and and gently try to jolt him awake. At the same time I lean across the armrest and say: "Hey bud wake up." He stirs a bit but doesn't wake up so I rock him a bit harder.

To say his reaction took me by surprise would be understated. He shoots up and his eyes are wide open. With his hand he hits mine of his shoulder. His breathing is going way too fast and I can see that he doesn't know where he is. I even jumped back a bit because I didn't expect him to react that way. However, this condition only stays for a second or two, then he looks at me and I can see him recognizing me after a few moments. Slowly he leans back and closes his eyes again.

Sure, I want to know what he was dreaming about, but I don't push him. Not yet. After a few moments his breathing increased again and he opens his eyes. Now I lean back too. I tap my shoulder with my hand and he leans his head on it. He knows that I want to talk and I know that resting his head on our shoulders calms him down.

I lean my head against his and ask: "You okay?" His voice isn't more than a whisper probably because he doesn't want to disturb other passengers or because he doesn't want to attract the attention of someone else. "Yeah, thanks for waking me up."

"What were you dreaming about?" He knew that I would ask this question, I always do that, but he still frowns a bit. "About my father." I close my eyes again. Even though it's been years now his father still makes him get nightmares. "What exactly?" He sighs. "That day when he got arrested. You know when he said that he would kill me."

"Why were you dreaming about that?" I ask curiously, but I want to take my question back just a  moment after I said it. I can feel him contract his jaw muscles as if he grits his teeth. "How should I know that? Do you know why you dream everything you dream?" His voice is a bit harsh, but there is still something in it. This little tune that makes me think.

Dan lifts his head again and pulls out some headphones. I guess that was a stupid question because now he is upset. He told us that we always question everything about him. Every dream, every action, every fear. But we don't do it on purpose. I guess that's human nature. This desire to know everything.

However, I maybe shouldn't have asked that question but his answer wasn't normal too. I have this feeling that he didn't tell me everything. As if he knows why he dreamed what he dreamed, as stupid as it sounds.. But I think I'll have to keep an eye on him and his sleeping habits.

Yeah, maybe I'm wrong and everything is just made up by my fantasy. But if something is wrong, then I have to know it. After years of friendship we normally talk through things. That's why our friendship is so deep? Because we know that we can trust each other.

Sure Dan needed some time at first. I mean, who can blame him for that? After years of abuse and not having a single friend, it's normal to distrust people. However, by now he normally tells us when something is wrong. But no matter how I turn it, I can't get this feeling off. This feeling that something is going in a direction where I don't want it to go to.