*A/N*
This song gives meh feels reee!
I just watched 'The End Of The ****in World' last night, all of it. I thought it was great. And I am so both of those kids, especially James.
Highschool AU
TW: Attempted Suicide, Cutting/Self Harm, Depression
Tyler looked around his room, bored. Josh was supposed to come over for "school work" but more to just hang out. He hadn't arrived yet and that had Tyler slightly worried considering Josh always came to school on time even if he was tired and moody. Tyler picked up a rubber ball and threw it at the ground, bouncing it up and down.
Josh had always slacked in school, not caring if he did good or if he failed. He tried sports once and did pretty good but his grades didn't keep up so he got kicked off the team. That was a setback for Josh, another thing he blamed himself for. Sports, failure. Grades, failure. Friends, mostly a failure. Happiness, definite failure. Self-harm, success. Being abused, success. Why me? Why not all the assholes at school. Why the fu- Josh was snapped out of his thoughts as the downstairs door slammed shut. Josh scrambled to clean his room, something he had been told to do before his step-dad got home. Josh's dad left when he was 7, Josh vaguely remembered him leaving. His mom got married again a few years later when Josh was 11. Josh had always heard the muffled sobs from his mom whenever his step-dad hit her. He tried to block them out but it never worked and that usually resulted in Josh crying himself to sleep. His mom committed suicide when he turned 13, Josh guessed she couldn't handle the emotional or physical pain that his step-dad caused. His mom had come into his room the night it happened.
Josh rolled over in his bed as he saw his mom open the door and walk over to him, "Hi, bear." Josh smiled and gave her a hug. His mom gave a weak laugh and that's when Josh noticed she had dried tears on her cheeks. "Goodnight, bear. I'm sorry."
Josh had been confused about why she had said she was sorry until the next morning when he went to the bathroom and saw his mom's dead body in the bathtub, bath full and tainted red from his mom's slit wrists. Josh had just stood there for what seemed like hours until his step-dad came in. He figured that other human presence made it real, his mom was dead, the tears started falling fast and hard as his step-dad rang up the police. Josh remembered being rushed from the room and outside. How empty he had felts years after. Josh's door burst open as his step-dad, Michael, rampaged in, "What is this mess! I said to clean your room before I get back!" Josh scrambled to his feet in fear, "I did! I did! It was so much worse before it was disgusting!"
"Don't whine and make excuses like a little bitch!" Josh flinched back as Michael stood taller.
"Yes, sir."
"Good. Now clean this mess up and go downstairs to make dinner."
"Actually I was gonna do a school project at my friend's..."
"What?"
"I said I was going to go do a-"
"I heard you, filthy pig. You and what friend?" Michael sneered, his breath wreaked like alcohol.
"Tyler. He's my only and best-"
"Shut up faggot!" His step dad's open hand came barreling down to hit the side of his face leaving a red mark. Josh rubbed his cheek and took a step back, cowering slightly. Josh felt tears threatening to spill from the edge of his eyes but he blinked them away and stood taller. "You're not going to see your faggot boyfriend, not today, not ever!" Michael yelled punching his stomach and kicking his legs out from underneath him. Josh fell to the ground and stayed there until he heard his father's car roaring away, probably so he could go get wasted and hit Josh even more later.
Josh worked his way to the kitchen and put ice on his stomach. Josh then worked his way to the bathroom and looked around in one of the drawers pulling out a package of cheap razors. Josh broke one apart and pulled the blades out staring at the pristine, cold metal. He then rolled up his hoodie sleeves and pulled the razor blade across his skin. He continued these motions up and down both of his arms. The wounds stung as Josh's tears spilled down onto the thin lines of blood. Josh threw the razor into the trash and held his arms in the sink, sobbing as his blood drained down his arms. Josh rummaged through the bathroom cupboard, his arms weak, for the rubbing alcohol. He finally found it and poured some down his arms clenching his teeth in pain. Josh then went downstairs and grabbed four beers from the fridge gulping all of them down in a couple minutes. Josh laughed, drunk off his ass, and went to his room to sleep.
