Whenever my friends question my mood, I say I'm tired. But what they don't understand is that my definition of tired is not the same as yours. When they say they're tired then they mean "oh I haven't slept that well" or "I was to long on insta last night" or some other type of shit.
My tired is a whole other world...
Let me explain:
'T' stands for tearing up contantly for no goddamn reason at all and fighting against it all the fucking time. For holding all my emotions in and letting them build up bc I know I will expolde if I let them out.
'I' stands for insecurety, I try so hard to be tough but deep down i'm just a insecure little peace of shit that is in constant anxiety. Always keeping it cool when a new slur hits my head, while knowing that there now is one more word in my selfhate collection.
'R' stands for rain as in the dark cloud that keeps following me around. I can not destroy it and belive me I tried, so hard for so long that I had to give up. All light I threw in it got swallowed. It's no were to be found.
'E' stand for energie or better lack of energie. I just can't anymore. I'm up all night worring, my mind and body a constantly on edge. It may not seem like it but my batterie is almost down and there is no interest to recharge.
'D' stands for death. For the feeling to just wanna end the pain, to just wanna end it all...
