The Best of Wives and The Best of Women

Carl the Candyman Can

Sam rolled his sleeve back as he and Ainsley waited behind junior staffers in the White House concession stand line. "It's 7:09."

"Okay." Ainsley said.

"The movie starts at 7:45." Sam added.

"Okay."

"That's in 36 minutes." Sam explained.

"Yup." Ainsley agreed. "Republicans can do math, you know, so it's good to know that Democrats can too. But then you have to ask yourself 'If both Republicans and Democrats can do math, why's the deficit so large?' "

"I think we forget how to do it when we're spending other people's money." Sam said as they stepped forward in the line.

"What can I get for you?" The clerk asked.

"We'll have two large popcorns, two Cokes, and two bags of Skittles, please." He turned to Ainsley. "Anything else?"

Ainsley held a twenty dollar bill in her hand. "I'll have a Snickers, a bag of gummy worms, a Butterfinger, a bag of Swedish Fish, -"

"They let you eat Swedish Fish? Isn't that unpatriotic?"

Ainsley rolled her eyes. "First of all, we like our personal freedom. Second of all, we're a nation of immigrants, buddy. We all come from somewhere." Ainsley continued. "A pack of Twizzlers,-"

"You like Twizzlers, you heathen? Clearly Red Vines are better."

"Are you done?" She turned back to the clerk.

"Yes." Sam said

"I apologize, Carl." Ainsley said.

"No worries, Miss Hayes."

"A pack of Milk Duds, Junior Mints, and Lemonheads, please. .... Don't judge me."

"I'm not judging you, Miss Hayes." The clerk assured her.

"I think she was talking to me."

"Yeah, Carl, that was directed towards Sam." Ainsley clarified. "How much do I owe you?"

"$31.95, Miss Hayes."

Ainsley opened up her wallet to take out the remaining cash when Sam handed Carl his credit card. "Nice try, Ainse, but it's on me."

"Sam, you don't have to do that."

"Think of it as penance for judging you for your junk food habit." Sam reasoned. "But seriously, Ainse, I want to." 'Please let me give you the world.'

"Are ya sure?"

"Yes." 'More sure than I've been of anything.' Sam answered as Carl handed him his card back.

"Thank you." That's really sweet of you.'

They collected their red, white, and blue movie snack boxes filled with their smorgasbord before they headed off to the White House movie theater.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"So what time is it, Sam?" Ainsley asked as they walked through the hallway.

He checked his watch "7:30."

"So we've got 15 minutes to spare."

"Oh shut up." He said as they passed through the doorway. "Do ya have enough candy and popcorn there, Hayes?"

"I'm hungry, Sam."
Ainsley said as they carried their movie snacks and sodas to their seats.

"How's that possible? You just had a massive burger, chili cheese fries, and a shake like an hour and a half ago."

"I'm still waiting for you to get that junk food consumption ban passed." Ainsley quipped just as Sam lost his footing going down the theater steps.

"Are ya okay there, Sam?" Ainsley asked as he stabilized the popcorn buckets and Toby, C.J., and Josh cackled.

"Sam, it usually helps to walk with both eyes open." C.J. teased Sam as they sat down in their seats.

Sam turned around to look at C.J. in the row behind them. "Oh, shut up." Sam attempted up his skittles when the bag completely broke and the skittles scattered all around him.

"It's a good thing we have all of this extra candy, Sam." Ainsley said before she popped a junior mint into her mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He said as the lights dimmed and the movie started.

Once it occurred to Sam that Ainsley was asleep with her head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped around her, he realized that he liked the feeling. Then, without thinking about it, he gently kissed the top of her head. 'She even smells like candy.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

What are your favorite movie snacks?
Are you Team Twizzlers or Team Red Vines?

And who caught the pop culture reference in the chapter (in addition to the title)?

Did anyone see that last paragraph coming?