All Your Little Things(mpreg & Larcel stylinson)

Chapter 4

15 weeks pregnant
January

    I no longer fit my clothes. my mother started to put a elastic band on my jeans so they can stretch more. I have to go to the store every couple of weeks. the baby hasn't kicked yet but every week I have a doctors appointment and I have two ultrasound pictures. I have them in my wallet in photo frames. they are all over my room. I have a little bump now and I am four months pregnant. I never wear a shirt because I like to feel the bump. it always brings a smile to my face. I lay down on the couch and I am watching family guy. I cuddle with my body pillow and there's a blanket at the end of my feet just in case I get cold. I find myself always exhausted and sickly. right after school I end up taking a nap and then I stay up for a few hours and then go to sleep for the night. I am almost in my second trimester and I can not wait for the pregnancy to be over and it just started. I'm almost 20 weeks and then I get to know the gender.  I haven't decided the name yet. I'm waiting until I know the gender. i start to drift off to sleep... when I wake up the TV is off and the blanket is now tucked in around my shoulders. I smile knowing my mother must of came home and saw me sleeping. my mother is looking for now clearing out the extra bedroom and making it the nursery. I cannot help because I can't lift heavy things. I hate being babied but I don't wanna hurt her/him.

at school as I grow I am starting to have to wear bigger clothes to hide it. Lou seems to always be around so I try to make it seem not to obvious that I'm hiding something but since I've found out and decided to hide it from him he has watched me like a hawk and its getting harder to keep it from him. my mother disapproves completely but I can't give him this responsibility... he can't even come out. let alone take care of a baby he created with a male. that's why we broke up... because he refused to tell anyone about us. I remember the day like it was yesterday.

flashback
"I can't do this anymore." i  say tears streaming down my face.
"please marce just a little bit longer."
"no. I can't its to hard. I want to hold your hand in public. be more than 'just friends' around your friends and family. around the high school."
"I cant. I'm not ready for it. why can't you see that? can't you just wait and stop being so damn selfish?"
"YES MAYBE IM SELFLISH BUT SO ARE YOU! YOURE ONLY THINKING ABOUT YOU COMING OUT. ITS BEEN NEARLY A YEAR SINCE WE HAVE STARTED DATING. IVE BEEN PATIENT IM TIRED OF HIDING OF PRETENDING. YOU ARE ASHAMED OF ME. OF US. IT HURTS TO MUCH. I REFUSE. SO YES IM SELFISH BUT SO ARE YOU!"

"IM SORRY! BUT I CANT. ITS TO MUCH. ITS TO HARD."
"But you promised Lou. its nearly October. we got together on Halloween. "
he shakes his head and I back up a little. feeling devastated and hurt.
"then I can't be in this relationship any longer. I'm not ashamed of who I am. you are. I love you and always will but... I just Can't. anymore. 
goodbye Lou."
"Marcel wait! "
I do not turn around as I walk out of the room and out of his house. away from the whole situation.

end of flashback

tears are now streaming down my face as I look down at my stomach. I smile as a tear hits my belly. I feel a flutter and smile a little. "oh." I smile she/he kicked. actually kicked. I smile and rub my tummy. "I love you. and I'll never be ashamed of you. whoever you are in there."