The Secret Life of a Villain

Chapter 12

"God I feel like I've been run over by a fucking truck or something." Deku groaned, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"I must say, that's quite a colourful vocabulary you've got there." The unknown voice surprised him.

Upon opening his eyes he was blinded by a bright light. After a hushed swear he opened his eyes again, this time with more caution. In front if him sat a middle age man in a trench coat. He opened his mouth to ask the man if it appropriate to go around wearing such an outfit but a shy voice in his head spoke against doing so.

"I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself have I? I am investigator Noamasa Tsukauchi."

Deku blinked then blinked again.

"You must be wondering why I'm here. Well, you were found in an alley unconscious. Your appearance matched that of a key witness in our serial killer case and we believe that should we have announced your existence and description, you would be targeted by the killer."

God this can't be happening. He knows exactly who they're looking for but he's no witness.

"Of course we notified medical practices and hero agencies in the area in case they found you. We did have one other witness, a roommate of one of the victims. However she was found dead two days later."

His face paled, where had he heard this story before? Never mind, it didn't matter. Toga probably told it better anyway, not to mention Dabi's comments always added to the... experience.

"We aren't going to make the same mistake twice. We're going to place you in a special witness protection program. All the paperwork and tools necessary to protect you aye all almost ready and waiting for you to say yes to it all."

Fuck. Now what was he supposed to do? All he wanted was to go and see Dabi and Toga, play video games with handy man, and eat what ever Kurogiri made. Now he was hungry and confused. What would Toga do? She'd probably stab everyone so scratch that. What would Kurogiri do?

"Okay I guess?" Deku replied.

"Great." How is it that this guy looked relieved but not very threatening wearing what he was? "For the moment all you have to do is recover, the doctor says you'll probably be discharged tomorrow. When that happens we'll head off to a secure location were we can finish off everything to protect you."

Investigator talksalot then stood and headed to leave the room. "There's also no need to worry about an attack before you're discharged, an armed guard will be protecting the room at all times and there are also a couple heroes stationed nearby on the look out for any suspicious persons."

Finally he was alone in the hospital room and he wanted to scream into his pillow. What the absolute fuck was he thinking? Witness protection? Key witness? He's sure Dabi and Toga will get a kick out of this, maybe end up actually rolling on the floor with laughter. He still needed a way to contact them, not having a phone was starting to bite him in the ass. Oh don't worry Deku, there's no need for a phone here. They'll only get you tracked by the police. God Damn it Kurogiri you fucking old ass man.

While in witness protection there was no way they'd let him wander through dark alleys or walk into a bar with known villains. Right, the bar was gone. There was still no way he's lead the police anywhere he thought they might be. He'll just have to see how this all plays out and find a way to escape or at least contact them with out anyone knowing.

The universe hated him.