My girlfriend Emily died on August 7th of 2012.
I just received another message, and it's worse than the others. She was involved in a three car crash driving home from work when someone ran a red light. She was dead within minutes at the scene.
We had been dating for five years at that point. She wasn't big on the idea of marriage (it felt archaic, she said, gave her a weird vibe), but if she had been, I would've married her within three months of our relationship. She was vibrant; the kind of girl that would choose dare every time. She was always happy when camping, but a total technophile too. She always smelled like cinnamon.
That being said, she wasn't perfect. She always said something along the lines of, "If I kark it first, don't just say good things about me. I've never liked that. If you don't pay me out, you're doing me a disservice. I've got so many flaws, and that's just another part of me." So, this is for Em: the music she said she liked and the music she actually liked were very different. Her idea of affection was a side hug. She had really long toes, like a chimpanzee.
I know, that's tangential, but I don't feel right without you having an idea of what she was like. Em had been dead for approaching 13 months when she first messaged me.
September 4, 2013
This is when it began. I had left Emily's Facebook account activated so I could send her the occasional message, post on her wall, go through her pictures. It felt too final (and too un-Emily) to memorialize it. I 'share' access with her mother (Susan) - meaning, her mother has her login and password and has spent a total of three minutes on the account (or total on a computer). After a little confusion, I thought it was her.
November 6, 2013
I had received conformation from Susan that she hadn't been on Em's profile since the week of her death. Em knew a lot of people, so I thought it was one of her tech savvy friends fucking with me in the worst possible way.
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