Be Rude but Love Me | ✔

CHAPTER 3

He is casually sitting across from me, looking cozy and at ease whereas I am writhing on my seat, feeling utterly uncomfortable. I try to keep the frown off my face but I can't. Those words he said keep replaying over and over in my mind and I can't seem to think about anything else but them.

This isn't how it was supposed to happen. I was supposed to meet Will, we were supposed to laugh with each other the way we do on the phone every time, tease each other endlessly and make fun of each other. That's what it's been like for the past years as our friendship grew through phone conversations and video calls. I was excited to meet him but all the excitement dwindles by the second as I am in Yann's presence.

"Behind a screen or a phone, you're pretty talkative usually," Will says as he laughs at me, pinching my nose in an affectionate gesture.

My mood lightens a little bit at his joke and I bump his shoulder teasingly. "I'm just speechless," I say.

He raises his eyebrows in question, "How so?"

I try to keep the smirk off my face but it's clear I am failing. "Well, cameras have a nice way of luring you into thinking certain people are good-looking and all." And I fake a cough. "Of course, I don't mean you."

Of course, I am lying. Will is even more handsome in person. His light brown skin reminds me of Snickers and I love how his rosy lips are a shining contrast to his complexion. His brown eyes are captivating me and I always find myself fascinated by the intensity he can give to his gaze.

"What?" I had queried after a little while of being observed the very first time I had seen him. 

He had slightly shaken his head surmounted with frizzy hair. "Nothing. What are you thinking of?"

"Your skin." I had said. "Makes me think about Snickers."

"Is that a compliment?"

I had nodded with a smile on my face. "Yes."

Back to the present moment, I find Will glaring down at me in mock anger while Ellie guffaws in her seat next to Yann. Whatever discomfort I felt at Yann's presence flies out the window as I cackle in a very unladylike fashion, tears almost spilling out of my eyes.

"Well, I never said but you do sound like a gobbling turkey."

That shuts me up. My laughter – or gobbling, rather – stops short and I almost choke, which makes it sound like gobbling and choking at the same time.

It doesn't sound great.

At all.

During my whole life, I've been told that my laughter is of the most horrendous kind. I didn't want to believe it until one day, Ellie filmed me. I got to see myself throwing my head back as an inhuman sound – gobbling is actually a very nice way to put it – came out of my throat.

I have tried to change it ever since. I have. But who pays attention to how they're really laughing? You laugh. It just happens, you know? That's like asking me to pay attention to how I kill the buzzing mosquito in my ears at night. I don't know how. I just kill it.

(I do know how, though. You sandwich the little annoying thing between your hands as you slap hard and the blissful quiet of the night as the buzzing stops lulls you back to sleep. But ignore that sentence.)

As I said, you don't know.

It's been a while since anyone has told me that because most of my friends are used to me now. As a kid, I used to get mad at people and jump at their throat for insulting me. But today? It just makes me smile.