Be Rude but Love Me | ✔

CHAPTER 20

The next morning, Ellie, Lucy, my father and I have breakfast together. Seated at the table, we eat pancakes with too much syrup and chug down glasses of juice. Our throats get dry from talking too much. We pass the bread and the butter back and forth as Lucy gorges herself on everything that her hands fall upon. The atmosphere in the room is cheery and none of us can stop smiling.

"I wish you could leave tomorrow and come to the fair with us," I tell my dad.

"Yes," Lucy pipes in, "it would be awesome. Stay, Daddy, please!"

My father smiles at my little sister before shaking his head with a sad smile, "I've got work back home. I can't stay, girls."

Lucy pouts and I try to hide my disappointment. I was hoping he would stay but I know he's got responsibilities elsewhere. A mechanic job doesn't pay much and mom's accountant job isn't that great either, honestly. Bills have to be paid.

About half an hour after we've all had breakfast together, my father is already about to leave, his car keys jiggling in his hands. Lucy isn't letting go of him and she's on the verge of tears.

"Stay," she pleads and my heart tugs at her voice.

"Come on, baby girl. You know I can't. We already talked about this," he tries to put her down but she keeps on clinging to him. "Plus, you've got Ellie and Tracy."

My little sister lets go of our dad and sniffling, goes bury her head in Ellie's tummy. My father comes and gives me a quick hug. "I'll take good care of her, I promise."

He pulls away and placing his hands on my shoulders, gives me a serious look. "Take care of yourself too." And I get that he's referring to Yann.

I nod and he steps away. I watch as he climbs in the car and with one last wave, drives away. Lucy wipes her eyes with the back of her hands. Picking her up, I keep my eyes on my dad's truck and she places her head on my shoulders, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"Did he really have to go?" I hear her murmur.

"Yeah," I say with regret, "he did."

"Girls," Ellie says and we turn around to face her, "I gotta go pick up Russell at the kennel now," she looks down at her phone, "or else I'm going to be late."

"Russell?" I ask at the same time Lucy says, "A dog?"

"Yeah, Yann's dog," Ellie clarifies. "Wanna come with me, Lu?"

And just like that, Lucy's sadness over my father's departure vanishes as she squeals happily. "Yes!"

She jumps out of my arms and goes back up to our room to get changed. While she's upstairs, Ellie turns to me, "You're coming?"

I shake my head. "No, I think I'll stay. You're going straight to the fair for the final arrangements and stuff?"

"Yeah," she says but she's not oblivious to my changing the topic, "Dropping her here after that."

We stay silent by the door, waiting for Lucy to come back down. Ellie takes the opportunity. "What happened with Yann?"

I give out a bitter laugh. "What do you think happened?"

Ellie remains patient even though I am slowly losing my temper. "I can't know if you don't tell me."

I sigh and lean against the doorframe. "Maybe I can't do this again, you know? No matter how much I try to remind myself of Ollie and give him a shot, I can't. Yann isn't Ollie. And they're different in so many ways."

"Tracy, you said – "

"You sound like a broken record, Ellie." I cut off then I laugh at myself. "Hell, I sound like a broken record." I wipe my hands over my face. "Look, I really don't have it in me to have that talk with you right now, can we just skip this and talk about it some other time maybe?"