COSMIC

3 - Starman

"What?" I snapped.

"I think I saw someone out there," she replied.

The tension switched gears as we all turned in the direction Nancy was facing. Squinting at the darkness, I saw and heard nothing. Glances were exchanged within the group, as we waited for someone to do something.

"I must have imagined it," Nancy said. "It's hard to see out there."

"Must have," I said. Returning my thoughts to my outburst, I stepped over the log to leave the campfire.

"Jamie, wait," Nancy said, grabbing my wrist again. I kept my back to my friends, afraid to show the tears that had risen again. I regretted what I had said and felt like an idiot. I always knew how to embarrass myself in front of others.

There was silence. I waited for my friends to say something, but I think they were waiting for me. Only seconds passed before I could no longer stand it. Turning around, I took in a breath. "I'm sorry, Kyle. That was wrong of me."

"No," he said, his voice soft. Now he decided to speak up. "I shouldn't have said that."

Nancy still held onto my wrist and motioned for me to sit back down. Everyone continued to watch my every move, so I felt pressured to oblige.

"I shouldn't have mentioned your parents," Kyle continued. "I just thought it'd give us a common ground, you know? But it was out of line."

"But you were right," I said, keeping my eyes on the ground. "Well, at least it feels that way. My parents are always gone. Sometimes, it does feel like they don't care about what's happening in my life."

"Same here. That's why I'm always trying to escape it, I guess."

"That's why you smoke all the time," Josh said, but not in a critical tone. Instead, he spoke in a way that I thought hinted at pity. "You feel like you have to fill the void and you chose the easiest and closest thing to you."

"You got me," Kyle said with a scoff. "Guess it sounds pathetic."

"No, it doesn't," Lisa interjected. "My parents are hardly in my life anymore, too. They left me a choice and I chose Scott. I felt pushed away-maybe that was my fault-but I didn't know any other way then. I only jumped in deeper."

"I didn't know that," Scott said, gaping at his girlfriend before putting his hand on hers.

"I haven't wanted to tell anyone..." Lisa trailed off.

"I wish my dad was more concerned about me, too," Nancy said, causing me to realize how unusually quiet she had been. "I don't know what's worse-not having a mom or having a dad that is distant sometimes."

Kyle placed his palm on Nancy's hand and for the first time, I saw a tenderness on his face. I didn't think he was capable of it, but one look made me realize how wrong I had judged him.

"Don't you ever just feel the world is falling apart?" Josh said, staring into the fire. "I mean, the government is a mess, the recession is making everything hard and families are falling apart-"

"Alright, pessimist," Kyle said. "We don't need to be reminded."

"No, I'm not being a pessimist-maybe I'm being a realist. The point I was trying to make before I was rudely interrupted," he paused, as he squinted at Kyle, "is that no matter what goes on around us, when we're together, everything seems to be okay. Sure we have our differences, but maybe that's because we care."

"I agree," I said. "I have to admit I wasn't sure about meeting up here tonight, but I've realized a lot of things. We still have each other." Josh smiled at me, his eyes lighting up. I blushed, surprised by the connection I felt as I looked at him. It was like we had finally acknowledged each other for the first time.