COSMIC

14 - I Can't Give Everything Away

It was an unusually quiet drive home, as I found myself consumed by my thoughts and assumed Nancy was as well. I hardly realized we had arrived at my house until she applied her foot to the brake.

As I jumped out, we said our goodbyes along with a smile, mine a sheepish one and hers sympathetic. Then she drove off, leaving me to stand in silence in front of my house. I sighed, looking at the family station wagon sitting in the driveway. Mom was home.

The house was dark, however, meaning it was possible I could sneak in without being noticed. Walking up the steps of the porch, I took out my key and inserted it into the lock. That's when I realized it had already been unlocked. I paused, knowing something was wrong. It wasn't unusual for us to leave the door open when we were home, but she usually entered through the back door. Why did she use the front?

I pushed through and stepped into the quiet kitchen. I waited to hear any sounds before walking toward the hallway. But then the lights in my mom's room came on. I froze, feeling the panic rising inside of me, as I considered making a run for my room or back outside. But I didn't have enough time to do so before she opened the door.

Stepping into the kitchen with a determination, she flicked on the light. The expression on her face exuded both anger and surprise, as she crossed her arms. All I could do was gape at her, my heart pounding in my chest.

"Where have you been?" she said.

Fear began to set in as I stared at my mom, who waited impatiently for an answer. The worst thoughts ran through my head of her finding out about David--or that she already did. Did Kyle's mom say something--or worse, did she look at my mail?

I didn't know how to respond. But I knew the longer I took, the more she would suspect so I replied with the first thing that came to mind. "I was with my friends."

"This late at night?" she said, almost interrupting me as if she had expected that answer. "Since when do you stay out so late? I was worried something had happened to you. You could have told me."

"I didn't know I would be out this late."

"What about a payphone? Just a simple call to let me know what you're doing. You're staying out later and later and I'm getting worried."

"I couldn't. We were in the woods. Plus, since when did you care so much? You always let me do whatever I want."

My mother inhaled a breath before replying. "What were you doing in the woods so late at night?"

I knew if I wanted to avoid her suspicions, I would need to keep my cool. But something about the almost knowing expression on her face irritated me. "We were just hanging out," I said, crossing my arms. "Is that okay with you?"

"Yes," she said. "You know I want you to be with your friends. But I don't want you staying out so late. I care about what you could get yourself into and things can happen out there."

"Well, I'm fine. I thought you trusted me."

I began to walk past her and down to my room when she stopped me. "Jamie, I want to. I just don't want you getting in trouble. If there's anything going on, just know that you can tell me."

"Everything's fine," I said too forcefully, as I looked at the apprehension on her face. "Really. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

I hardly heard my mom's reply when I entered my room and shut the door. My eyes adjusted to the moonlight floating through my window, as I waited for her to close her door as well. Then I breathed a sigh of relief.

The quiet darkness of my room was a sanctuary. I crossed over to my bed and plopped down on my covers. That was a close call, I thought. But I was only happy she hadn't found out. She could think I was smoking pot, for all I cared--anything that allowed me to keep seeing David.