𝗕𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗼 Shorts

❀ Wonderland - 3

Dennis laughed quietly as he stalked off. "Karma?" He shook his head. "What a charlatan."

No sooner than he said it, a pair of fangs glinted white in the shadow of a tree. Dennis called out in shock as the fangs were joined by a full mouth of sharp teeth.

"What's this?" He asked, backing away. As he spoke, a pair of yellow eyes materialised.

Dennis bumped into something solid and turned around quickly, to be met by the sight of Frankie from Number 13.

"That's Tiddles, the Cheshire Cat," Frankie explained, pointing at the disembodied teeth - which were now attached to a tiger.

"And this is Sabre, the Berkshire Brick!"

Frankie let Sabre to the floor (dropped him) and Sabre landed on Dennis's foot. It caught him unaware, and he didn't have time to move his foot out of the way of the heavy brick.

"Argh!" Dennis yelled, wrenching his foot out from under Sabre and hopping, clutching it tightly.

Frankie picked up Sabre and produced a paint brush from no where, beginning to paint the brick.

"I'm painting Sabre. Maybe he'll get a part in the Yellow Brick Road!"

Dennis scowled and gingerly let go of his foot, wincing as he put it down. "Wrong story," he said with a rueful grin.

Frankie frowned and linked his arm through Dennis', tugging him through the tree line to end up on a yellow brick paved road.

"We're off to see the wizard!" Frankie sang, very out of tune and dragging Dennis along while he skipped along the path.

Dennis gave up trying to pull away and simply jogged to keep up with the monster's huge strides. "Mind you, nothing's right in this story."

"We are in the right story!" Frankie protested. "Look, there's Dorothy!"

At a bend in the road, Ivy the Terrible stood, dressed in a blue chequered frock and looking peeved.

"I'm not Dot," she raged, marching up to them. "I'm Ivy - And I'm Terrible!"

And with that, she stamped as hard as she could on Frankie's foot. Te monster let out a howl and released Dennis, clutching his foot and hopping to stay upright.

"Ta, Ivy," Dennis called as he continued on along the road - without having to run.

He hadn't got far down the seemingly endless road when he heard something in the forest to his left. Curious, he stopped to listen.

"What's that rumbling?"

From the undergrowth, a large, well-rounded boy emerged, dressed in a pink shirt, purple trousers and a red bow tie, with the face of Fatty from Bash Street.

"Hi, I'm Tweedletum!" Fatty declared, while Dennis' eyes narrowed, trying to work out what part of the fairytale this was.

"And I'm Tweedletea!" Another boy announced. He was dressed the same, but instead of Fatty's tiny chimney-sweep brush of hair, he had a scraggy ginger mop. It was none other than Fatty Fudge, the Minx's everlasting source of sweets.

The two large boys came together, rather too close for Dennis' comfort - the lines of buttons on their outfits looked fit to ping at any moment.

"We're hungry!" They chorused, and for a moment Dennis considered high-tailing it, because they looked hungry enough to eat a horse (or an unsuspecting menace).

Dennis wrinkled his nose in confusion as they began to count in unison, starting from one.

"I don't have time to play hide and seek," Dennis said, already looking onwards down the road - he needed to get going.

"Who said anything about hide and seek?" Fatty asked, licking his lips. "These numbers are our takeaway snack."

At once a rickshaw barrelled up to them, stopped, and unloaded an unimaginable amount of Chinese food into Fatty and Fatty Fudge's arms.

Dennis stared. "Some snack!" He commented, though his stomach rumbled at the enticing smell of chicken and noodles.

He went forward to help himself, but the two turned their backs and began to shovel steaming, smouldering food into their mouths. But the time Dennis had circumnavigated their enormous figures, there was only a pile of empty containers.

"Not even a prawn cracker left!" Dennis bemoaned, looking longingly at the empty packages. His stomach rumbled again, louder.

Fatty burped loudly. "The problem with Chinese food is," he said, "seconds later, you want more!"

Dennis' eyes bugged as the driver unloaded more food, and they dug in with gusto. "That's disgusting," he said, creasing his brow. He definitely didn't feel hungry any more, only slightly sick.

"That's enough Chinese food," Fatty stated.

Dennis averted his eyes from their swollen stomachs, feeling iller by the second. "I should think so, too!"

Fatty nodded, turning around. "We'll have an indian curry next - and here it comes now!"

A giant tanker of vindaloo came speeding down the road towards them, emitting a pungent pong.

Dennis watched in disbelief as they hooked themselves up to the feeding tubes and started to guzzle. Almost immediately, their buttons finally gave way and span end over end through the air, hitting Dennis in the face. He raised his arms to protect himself until the onslaught was over.

"This proves overeating can be dangerous - for me!" He grumbled.

"What a disgraceful exhibition!" An unwelcome voice declared. "Do you have anything to say for yourselves?"

Fatty Fudge laughed. "Yes! What's for afters?"

Dennis held a hand to his mouth, trying not to be sick. "After that, I've suddenly lost my appetite."

Jadis turned to face him. "Are you so sure?" She questioned, smiling.

"Yes." His eyebrows knitted together, observing her. She was wearing a pretty blue frock, like Dorothy's. He didn't like the connotations. "Now quit following me, you stalker!"

"You should learn not to make personal remarks," she said, shaking her head disappointedly. "It's very rude."

He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He started again.

"Why are you here, Jadis?"

She smiled and gestured to her side. "I only came to invite you to a tea party," she informed.

This elicited an incredulous laugh that surprised the both of them "A tea party?" He snorted. "I'm no softy."

Jadis put her hand on her hip and cocked it in challenge. "And neither am I," she said pointedly. "But the tea's steaming and the coffee's brewing, and the upside-down cake is pineapple."

The absurdity caught his interest. "Pineapple upside-down cake?"

Jadis nodded, tilting her head. "Or marble cake, if you'd prefer."

Dennis thought hard. "Chocolate marble cake?" He asked, crossing his fingers at his side.

"Yes."

That settled it. "Then I'm in," he replied.