𝗕𝗲𝗮𝗻𝗼 Shorts

ღ BSK - Sp x OC - 3

The scene on the bridge wasn't the one I was expecting. First of all, Danny was sat in Teacher's chair, of whom there was no sign. Someone had put 'Erbert on navigation, which - since he could hardly navigate his way to bed, let alone through space - was frankly a bad idea. Thankfully, Sidney was at the controls of the weapons (if it were Spotty we'd have already blown up Rumpus 4, and probably ourselves to boot) and Toots was on the monitors, frantically scanning the reports on the ship's status.

"We're hit on the left wing!" Toots reported, opening up an image of the ship. Part of the left side was coloured red.

"What's going on?" I asked her, peering over her shoulder.

"We don't know!" Danny said, slightly panicked since it had happened on his watch.

"So, Danny... Is my chair nice and warm?"

I turned to see Teacher walking into the bridge, approaching Danny, who was nodding sheepishly.

"Yes, sir. Just taking control in absence of authority, sir."

Teacher eyed him speculatively as he vacated the seat. "Hmm. Well, what's going on?"

Toots span in her chair to face him. "We've been hit on the left wing, sir. Probably an asteroid."

He nodded thoughtfully. "'Erbert, take us into orbit around the planet, so we can assess damages."

'Erbert - bless his heart - looked around confusedly, completely missing the huge green planet that now took up most of the viewing window. "What planet?"

"Danny, take over from 'Erbert, quick!"

Danny snapped to attention and pulled 'Erbert from his seat. "You got it!" He flicked some switches and pulled back on the throttle a little, checking our trajectory with Toots before bringing the ship to a full stop. "We're in orbit, sir," he reported.

"Great!"

"Sir," Toots said, slowly. "There's an incoming video message..."

She clicked a button and suddenly a hologram filled the viewing window, showing an exact replica of the hologram we had seen in the briefing room.

"This is Zarg from Rumpus 4," the alien announced. "Go away, or we'll shoot!"

Sidney raised an eyebrow. "They don't mess about, do they?"

Teacher pressed a button on his chair. "This is teacher from the Bash Street... we bring greetings from earth. I understand your concern, Zarg, and I would like to reassure you that..."

"What is he doing?" Sidney asked, pulling a face.

"Trying to bore Zarg to death?" Danny suggested quietly.

I stumbled sideways from my position next to Toots as a huge explosion rocked the ship. The red area on the left wing on the monitor increased in size.

"Teach, we've been hit!" Toots cried.

Teacher released his grip on his arm rests and rubbed his brow. "Thank you, Toots..."

Wilfred suddenly pointed, and when I followed his gaze my jaw dropped. "Sir, look!"

Teacher's eyes widened. "Oh dear... this is not good!"

In front of us loomed a huge flat ship. As we watched the wings bent downwards into a U shape, meaning both of the guns on the ends on each wing were pointed straight at us.

The radio crackled to life, and Zarg's voice said: "We warned you, earthlings! Open fire!"

The ship started behaving like a huge rocking horse, sending us all off balance as we were shot at mercilessly.

"Sir, we're being-" Toots started.

"I know!" Teacher cried. "Danny, shoot back!"

Danny scrambled off of the floor and slid back into his chair. "Right! Firing the main... huh? Toots, why is the button not working?"

"The main laser has been disconnected..?"

Danny hit the button hard, but nothing happened. "Come on! Who would be stupid enough to...?"

My eyes travelled down to when Smiffy sat on the floor, looking confusedly at the ball of wires that had fallen out of the control panel. He was holding at least three disconnected wires in his hands.

Sidney spotted him too. "Smiffy!"

The boy looked up. "Yes?"

"Sir, the ship can't take much more!" Toots reminded.

Danny span in his chair. "Sir, the main laser is out."

"Sir, can I go to the toilet?" Fatty asked.

I made my way down to the main panels and scanned the buttons, levers and screens.

"There must be another weapon here," I said, glancing at Danny.

He shrugged helplessly. "I don't know, I haven't used any more than two in training. They're both out."

I bit my cheek and grabbed the back of his chair to stabilise myself as the floor see-sawed beneath me. "A normal ship has more than one laser!"

He laughed humourlessly and raised his eyebrows. "You really think they would give Bash Street a fully operational ship?"

The radio spat into life again. "Sir, Spotty here!"

Teacher brought him up on a hologram, showing the classroom. In the background, the blackboard was scarred with trailing white lines from the ends of half-finished words.

"Could you keep the ship still for five seconds, at least?" Spotty asked.

Idiot. We're in a life or death situation, and all he cares about is finishing his detention!

Teacher sighed and cut communication. "Sidney, prepare to fire torpedoes!"

Danny blinked. "I didn't know we had..."

"Torpedoes ready, sir!" Sidney announced.

Teacher rubbed his hands together. "Lock onto target!"

"Torpedoes locked on target!" he said.

"Fire!"

There was a click, and silence. Then, from the other room, the sound of a toilet flushing.

"Hey! Who flushed the toilet?" Fatty shouted from inside.

Toots brought up a sonar diagram. "Sir, the... er... torpedo is heading straight for Zarg's ship!"

I looked up at her, bemused. "You mean the toilet flushes into space?"

"Yes!"

Zarg's voice suddenly boomed from the radio. "Argggghhh! Disgusting earthlings! I'm going to-"

I span on my heel. "Danny, get us out of here!"

Danny started the warp speed sequence. "On it! Oh, not again!"

"Danny, warp speed, now!" Teacher demanded.

"The button's not working!"

I ran over. "Press all of them!"

"Okay!"

Pops and pings followed as we both pressed as many buttons as we could.

"Hey!" Fatty cried as the toilet flushed again.

Then, finally, Danny pressed a button that shook the whole ship, and we all found something to hang on to as the stars started to streak past and we went into warp speed.