Unexpected End of First Love

Chapter-32 (Past 2)

I am dedicating this chapter to Sneha Ch.

Surya's POV

     On that fine day, our first day of second year, while others were in joy to meet after holidays, I am here, being nervous to the hell, thinking about Anu. Will she talk to me? Will she forgive me? I don't know but I have a little confidence inside my heart. May because she was Anu and it's not about me, the confidence resided. Even if she was angry, I will bear it. If she was upset, I will make her happy. If she wanted revenge, I will bend for it though it doesn't suit her but still. I will go to any extent to get her forgiveness.

             Finally, I spotted her at the entrance of our school gate. She was walking slowly , may be in the fear that her feet may hurt the earth. I think she was in some deep thoughts because, she was not responding to the people's wishing her. Yahh, they all remembered her for her performance on the other day. Everyone congratulated her except me. I was such an idiot. It was her happiest day but I'm not with her, on her side. The regret was making me ill. I am loosing the hope of her forgiveness. Tears started to blur my vision. Suddenly, she glanced at me like I have called her just now. I wiped away my tears. I gave a small smile and walked towards her. She stood there rooted with a blank face.

"Hii", I greeted her. She didn't say anything but walked away. It's not usual but I have to face this. I followed behind her, to our class. Through out the class, I was staring at her. She caught me sometimes but turns her face immediately.  May be checking, whether I am watching her or not.

One week passed in the same way.

Today I was determined to talk to her no matter what. I know she still had feelings for me but she was ignoring me because of my earlier stupid behavior. I should regain her trust and confidence for me.

I went to library which was her hideout and waited for her. I am really knowing every minute that was passing. The clock in the library was running slowly but my heart beat was inversely proportional to it. So many people came and so many people went. But, I was stick to the same place waiting for her at her favourite place.

Finally, she came, checking something in her jute sling bag. Yahh, she was eco friendly. As far as possible she won't harm anybody and anything. She saves world's reserves and also word's reserves, I mean she won't talk much. She was coming, even without lifting her head, but crossing every table and chairs, like she knows the place since ages. Then she sat opposite to me, actually I choose the spot opposite to her usual one.

Then, she raised her head and saw me. Her body stiffened at the sight of me and she started moving uncomfortably.  I felt bad, because of her reaction. She seemed to be in confusion whether to leave or stay. I should take a step now.

"Hey..I..want.to.....I mean..I..am....sorry....... Actually, It was all my fault..I mean ..... I should not have behaved like an a#*..Oops...I am really sorry...I ....Was....."

Oh god! I was stuttering like anything. She was looking at me with the same expressionless face. Ahhh!!

I sighed, "I am sorry for my earlier behavior Anu. I will never repeat it. Sorry for disturbing you." I started to leave the place, because of embarrassment and not able to express my feelings.

"So, you are saying, you are sorry, for your previous acts. Are you really feeling this, I mean are you agreeing that you have had hurted me!??" she asked, stopping me in my tracks.

"Ahh ha, ya, yes. But, it was unintentional, it happened even before I realized what I have done. You should have atleast told me how you felt and what you were expecting from me." I replied.

"So, I should have asked you to stop hanging out with Nandana because she was not a girl to believe, and asked you to spend time with me, not with her. Am I right?" she was literally in full rage.

"No, it's not like that. I don't know she can do something like that." I was now supporting myself but it was in vain, of course.

"Cannot you understand the way she was bitching around you about me? You believed her more than me.....I am not expecting this from you..." She was, now,  in tears, accusing me.

  I went near her, hold her shoulders, "I am really sorry yaar.. Please forgive me.. give me a last chance.. Please.., I promise you, I will never repeat this mistake.. Please don't cry. If you want me not to disturb you, I will be okay with that but don't cry. Please...will you please accept my apology!?"

"You too stop crying" she said wiping the wetness from my cheeks. Then I realized, I was also crying. That too for the first time, that too without my knowledge, that too for a girl. Because, I can never take things seriously, I believed everything was because of the destiny. But, today, it was different, totally different. I cried, for a girl, seriously, it was unimaginable for me. Now, I realized the importance of this girl in my life. She was the one for me. My girl. I can never leave her, will stick to her for the rest of my life.

"It was painful to see you with her. I felt that I'm not good enough to be with you. Though, I was alone before I met you, I never felt lonely. But, now, I'm feeling the loneliness around me."

Her words were piercing my heart like a sharp knife. May be the poets were right. I used to think they exaggerate the pain given by love. But it was true. I gave her the pain which was now returning with interest.

The scene, that my girl, sitting in front of me, with teary eyes, trembling hands because of crying, sobbing voice,with broken heart was slaughtering my heart.

I took her hand, slapped it on my cheeks, "Please forgive me, I'm really sorry for what I have done. I will behave as a good boy friend from now onwards. You can feel that. I won't hurt you and will never leave you. I will believe you and leave you for your choices.  So, will you forgive me?"

She looked at me with an awe expression but it changed to blank in no time. She was motionless for sometime, may be thinking, whether to stay with me or slap and leave.

All my patience was being examined by her. She looked at me directly into my eyes, that's it. It was telling me how much she wants me, how much she loves me. I felt immense happiness. I wanted to hug her but since it was library and also, I don't think she will be comfortable with hug. I grinned at her showing all my teeth. She smiled. I felt relaxed and left the breath which I am holding until now, without my senses.

I took her to canteen. I introduced her as my girlfriend to Kittu and co. Though, they know each other but I felt an urge to let my friends know about my love and relationship with her. Though it was, really early to be in a relationship, being teenagers, but it suited to me as a necessary issue. 

That's how my golden days of love started......

To be continued.........

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