HAIKYUU ONESHOTS

3 | OIKAWA TOORU + READER

REGRET.
oikawa tooru

Words: 3k

—

Feelings were always tricky. People often express their feeling differently, like how smiles aren't always indicators for happiness. With this thought in mind, one could say that love can be expressed differently too. Some people are verbal, others are more physical. You couldn't blame yourself for not picking up on the signs early on.

There's the lingering looks as you pass by each other in the hallways. The urge to talk to him longer, even by the slightest bits. Even by mere seconds, just as long as you could be near him—to talk to him. To look at his eyes and commit it to memory. The way the different shades of earthy brown swirl with the different emotions he feels as the conversation carries on. The way his lips curl into a smile or the slight twitch of his nose as something that irritates him come into topic.

(You manage to put two and two together during a night of restlessness. Insomnia coursing through your veins with fingertips buzzing and mind running too fast for you to catch up. He hated talking about Shiratorizawa—or more specifically, their ace. What you had thought was a friendly rivalry was something much more.)

You want so much and can only give so little in fear of him finding out. So you give the bare minimum. You're there to greet him good morning when he enters the classroom. You're there to wish him luck as he heads off to volleyball practice. You take in his smiles, his friendly greetings that you're sure are mostly out of obligation and store them selfishly in your brain for a rainy day.

—

The two of you have known each other since the first year of high school. But calling it something even as simple as a friendship would stretch it too far. You merely ended up in the same class as him all three years—a happy coincidence. You didn't think he'd notice, mainly because you stayed clear of him during your first year. Your nerves getting the best of you but the crowd of girls that would often surround him during breaks pushed you away too. You couldn't—wouldn't—dare to fight the vulture-esque girls vying for his attention.

Of course, life had different plans for you on your second year of high school. Rather than sitting a good few seats away from Oikawa, you found yourself sitting right behind him.

"We're in the same class again, ___-chan!" He'd exclaimed, as he turned on his chair to face you. His smile at the time was bright. Brighter than the overhead lights, brighter than the sun shining in from the windows—just, bright. You manage to force a smile through a slack jawed expression, which most likely made you look constipated. He doesn't seem to notice, still smiling brightly.

At the time, it felt like a joke. Something cruel that whatever deity had planned for you. Because there was no possible way he could remember you, much less learn your name. You think back in the previous year, rummaging through filed memories of when you two spoke at all but coming up blank. However, he seems to notice the cogs slowly turning in your mind and his cheeks flushed the same shade of red as yours.