Still Breathing

Hey you, its been awhile

Dean had left a few days ago for Stanford and my dad was down in Louisiana helping some hunter buddies with a  werewolf case. I was currently doing the dishes and trying to organize my dad's million books to get the house clean. Finally. Everytime I started, my dad would come home from whatever hunt he had been on and it would be chaos again. Books scattered everywhere.
The rumble of the Impala's engine coming up the drive brought me out of my plans for cleaning and I dropped the plate I had been washing back into the soapy water. Oh God, Sam was here. Dean had called last night with news about his dad and the surprising revelation that Sam, was with him and they would continue searching together.
To say I had been shocked would be putting it mildly. Sam had left the life and everyone in it when I left him at the bus stop what seemed like ages ago. What happened to change his mind I wondered. What changed? Dean said an accident involving Sam’s girlfriend, Jess, had given him a thirst for revenge. It must have been something pretty bad to make him feel that way. He didn’t say what had exactly happened to Jess but he did say that until they found their dad and the thing that so brutally killed their mom, that Sammy was back doing what he knew best. Saving people, hunting things, the family business.
After the phone call, I became angry. Sam left us, he left Dean. Sam had left me. Now all of sudden something bad happens to his precious girlfriend, and he returns to hunting, something he despised. How could he do this? Before Dean and I found ourselves, Sam was the only one I had to rely on, besides my dad of course. Was I being a little irrational about it? Probably. Did I seem jealous of this Jess girl? Maybe. But Sam chose her. He broke his promise.

“Addie?”

The sound of the front door opening and the deep tones of Dean’s voice brought me back to the present. His voice brought me some relief.

“In the kitchen Dean!” I called.

I grabbed the towel on the counter next to me and dried my hands. I rushed to put my long hair up into a messy bun to at least try and look decent.

“Hey there sweetheart. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes.”

Dean and I had been, well, a thing since that night on the Impala. No official titles had been given and the “What are talk” hadn’t been spoken. I cared for Dean and he cared for me, we were having fun. Dean wasn’t really at the, “Oh, I’m ready to settle down in a serious relationship”, kind of place in his life yet and I’m still young. I’m not sure what I want in life yet exactly. At one point it was to be a nurse, now, well now I didn’t know anymore.
Anyways, no matter how many times dean called me “sweetheart”or “beautiful”, or even the occasional “baby”, I still got butterflies in my stomach. I still smiled like an idiot, much like I was doing now. I turned towards him with the biggest smile and rushed over to give him a hug. God he smelled good.

“I’m glad you’re ok.” I told him, hugging him tightly.

“Yeah well, Sammy and I make a pretty good team. Gonna take me than a simple ghost to kill me.” He replied chuckling slightly.

I sighed and buried my face deeper in his leather jacket. I had almost forgotten Sam was here. I looked up at Dean, anxiety filling my entire body.

“Speaking of Sam, where is the giant moose?”

Dean sighed and looked down at me, a serious expression on his face.

“He’s outside but AJ, there is something I need to tell you before they come inside.”

I pulled back from him and stared up at him in curiosity.

“They?” I asked him.

He just nodded at me and I felt this horrible burning spread throughout my veins. No. Dean was lying, he had to be. I pulled completely away and just stared at him in complete horror. He must have known I had figured it out because a look a realization passed through his dark green eyes but before he could say anything, the front door banged opened and Sam’s voice filled the silence.

“Dean?”

“Yeah in the kitchen Sammy!” he called over his shoulder.

Dean’s eyes never left mine as I backed away from him. I wasn’t ready for this. Dean reached his hand out to me,”Addie, Im sorry I didn't tell you over the-”

He was interrupted by the sudden appearance of Sam walking into the kitchen and his arm snapped back to his side. My breath caught in my throat and a million memories rushed through my head. Sam was finally home. He didn’t see me at first, to caught up in his brother to notice me.

“Dean you just can’t just leave- AJ?” he asked, surprised by my appearance.

I almost scoffed at him. This was my home and he was surprised to see me here? The irony. I wrapped my arms around myself and ignored the set of eyes I could feel watching my every move. I knew they would be this intense shade of green, filled with worry, so I concentrated on the one person that made my heart clench and not in the good way. It was a hold filled with pain, sorrow, and rage. I gave him a small smile.

“Hey Sammy. Long time, huh?”

Sam stood there,his face changed through many emotions before settling on just one. Regret.

“AJ, hey I am so sorry I didn’t-”

Another voice filled the room. It was unrecognizable to me and so very female. I backed up completely away from the two boys and didn’t stop until I felt the edge of the counter driving into my back.

“You’d think my boyfriend would take the time to wake me when we stopped, but I guess not. Why are you two standing around anyways?” it confusedly asked.

A pretty blonde girl walked into the kitchen and I could feel the seams of my self control start to break apart even more than they already were. Sam stared between the two of use with a nervous expression on his face. Dean on the other hand, his gaze was only for me. His eyes intense and calculating, like he might intervene at any minute. The blonde had finally notice me and her face lit up in one of recognition and she walked toward me with her hand held out.

“Hi! You must be AJ. Sam has told me all about you! I’m Jessica, Sam’s girlfriend. It’s great to finally meet you.”