flowers || Jotakak

The Waves Eat at the Pier

   The wave of questions that spewed out of Joseph's yelling mouth made it feel like Jotaro was being knocked over, catching him off balance.   He could feel the sand slip from underneath him, and the undertow pull him underneath the water, preventing him from breathing.  He felt himself click off.  

   "Don't you know when to shut up, old man?  God, Leave me alone."  He snapped. Those words weren't his, he wasn't the one moving towards his bedroom.  It was those waves again, pushing him further and further back into isolation, further away from his family.  It was hard to breathe.  The water was closing in, filling up to reach his lungs, his neck, his nose, until nothing.  No air passed his lips or filled his nose.  

  When Jotaro finally reached the surface again, he was shaking, shaking in his room behind a locked door, away from any comfort or sign of help.  He was alone, something so painfully comfortable.  But the waves, the waves were crashing again, covering him from head to toe, soaking him, throwing him around until he found himself on his knees and hands on his wooded floor.  

   He  coughed, he gasped, he cried out, cried out for air, cried out for anything, anyone.

  The ocean air was thick, too thick. He felt dizzy, crawling backwards only to find support on his door.  He felt water run down his face before realizing, stupidly! stupidly! No, no Jojo, those are your tears! You're CRYING! He felt his chest collapse into a series of choked sobs, pressing further back on the door with the weight on his chest.   He opened his mouth, taking a many breaths as he could before the waves started to fill up his room.  

  The water filled up, almost to his mouth when he heard.  He heard.. he heard... 

  "J-Jojo?!  Jojo, is everything okay? You- you seemed really upset and I'm really worried!  Please come out and talk to me, Jotaro!  Your mommy loves you!"

    The waves calmed down a little.  

    Jotaro .  He couldn't let her see him like this.   He couldn't let anybody see him like this.  He tried to silence himelf, quiet the endless whimpers and cries that signalled that maybe, maybe for once he wasn't okay.  Maybe he wasn't okay all this time.   What if she heard him? What.. what if he wanted her to know..?

  No.   Nobody can find out.  He was Jotaro Kujo, a powerful being with a powerful ability.  Part of the Joestar bloodline.  He shouldn't be weak like this, he shouldn't- 

  He felt a push against the door.  No. She should just give up on him- she shouldn't keep doing this- leave me leave me leave me.  

     "Jojo?! Open the door for me, please! Is everything okay?! Are you hurt?!"

  Jotaro forced a low growl in the back of his throat.  He didn't want this to happen, he didn't want to yell at her again, not after what she's been through-

   "God, just shut up-! I'm fine!"  Though the tone was rough, Holly could hear pain behind that voice.   It was a while since she heard that panic.. that level of hidden, horrible emotion that came bubbling up once in a while in terror.

    "Jojo, talk to me..." The woman replied softly, trying carefully to talk in soothing tones, setting aside her worry.  "Open the door, okay..?  I can help you.."  Jotaro shifted, pressing his back against the door harder, desperately.  She can't come in.  She can't come in.  She couldn't know, nobody can know! Jotaro felt another wave hit him.  He curled up a little more, shrinking, shrinking away from the world, away from his problems.  His breath was taken from him again.  

    Worry spiked in Holly.  Those were her son's cries, cries of pain of something she had no idea from what.  That scared her beyond words..  losing Jotaro was not an option, whether to physical things or emotions.. 

    "Sweetie? Please, open the door.  I know papa can be a little frusturating, but you shouldn't let him get to you.  Although, I.. I get the feeling this isn't about him?  Is there something else?  You can tell me anything, Jotaro.. I love you!"  There was so much love in her voice, so much care.. Jotaro felt so bad.  He didn't want to treat her like this.. but it was the only option, right..?  He let out a couple of strangled breaths.

    What would Noriaki think of him now.. he'd probably do something like what his mom was doing, wouldn't he.  A little spike of panic shot through him as he thought of the many outcomes that could happen if he knew that Jotaro was actually weak.  God if he saw him like this he'd think he was a freak he'd think he was- 

   No.  Images of flowers blossoming slowly bloomed in his head.  Kakyoin would not be mad..  he would help him.. he would talk him through it.  Everything would be okay if he was here.  

   "Jojo..?  You're really quiet.. are you okay..?"  

    Maybe.. maybe everything would be okay, even if he wasn't... Jotaro shakily reached up, unlatching his door and crawling away from it.  

    Holly had her arms wrapped around him before he had the chance to wipe his tears away.