flowers || Jotakak

Happy Birthday

    "Jotaro, these are simply lovely! Such a thoughtful gift from my wonderful son makes my heart sing! Come give your mama a big hug~!" Holly sang. Though shoving the pretty bouquet into her arms wasn't the ideal way of giving somebody a birthday present, especially your mother, Holly wasn't the least bit dissapointed. Ever since her son and her father had returned, there was something off about both of them. She wasn't sure what happened, and she was scared to ask..

   Jotaro had lost a lot of the glimmer in his eyes when he hit his teens, but there was something so distant, so tortured about them when he came back to her.  

   That scared her more than the risk of losing her life over the past two months. 

  But... now?  He looked different.  His shoulders were held up higher, his face a little less stoic.  The expression he had now was.. gentle.  Loving.  Most people couldn't see it, but after years of dealing with the teenager that her son had grown up to, she knew the miniscule details that signaled what he was feeling.  She used to be bothered that Jotaro wouldn't talk to her.. she was used to it now.  And despite what other people said, she could tell Jotaro loved her just as much as she loved him.  He just had his own unique way of showing it.

   A silence buzzing with some indiscernible excitment filled the room, and contrary to what Holly thought he would do, Jotaro took an embarrassed step closer to his mother.  She quickly enveloped him in a warm hug, and Jotaro leaned into it slightly.  His eyes shut half-way as he felt his face flushing with a gentle touch of red.  As much as he hated to admit it, he loved when his mother hugged him.  He felt.. well, loved.  And his Holly knew it too.  Or, at least he hoped..

  "Oh...!  Jotaro, you are just the sweetest little boy anybody could have asked for~!"  Quite the statement, considering her son was seventeen and covered head to toe in the color black and adorned with an intense golden look.  Despite the lack of half of a conversation (blame it on Jotaro), the room was once again filled with words and talking.  Holly continued to fuss over her son and her flowers when another voice entered into the dialogue.  

 "Ah, Jotaro! You're finally back from messing around outside! Don't you know that you had your mother and I worried?! A--"  Joseph's face was one of shock when he saw his grandson letting his daughter cling to him.  "Who are you, and what have you done with JOTARO?!"  

  Jotaro gave a pleading look to his grandfather.  He gulped, tensing up.  He wanted to think about Kakyoin.  He needed time to process.  He hated how loud he was he hated how nobody could tell he was hurting.  Please leave me alone please leave me alone please leave me--

   "Papa~!"  Holly continued in a sing-song voice, seemingly ignorant to the strangled whimper Jotaro felt pass his lips as life continued on when he wished it would pause.  "Look what Jotaro gave to me for my birthday~!!"  She cheered, running up to Joseph with a big, bright smile.  As she shoved the huge bouquet in his face, she continued her positive speech.  

  Despite feeling like his world was being shaken and re-written once again, he noticably felt a large pang of guilt in his chest, and he could feel his lip quiver when the two weren't looking his way.  Why did she get so happy when he treated  her so poorly all the time?  How could he say he was sorry when he couldn't talk or communicate?  How could he take back all the awful things he said without unraveling.... without losing himself.  

  Who was he really?  What was he supposed to be doing?  How was he supposed to move on from what he's seen, experienced, lost... Noriaki.

  He felt his breath hitch in his throat as the both of them moved closer and inturrupted his ever-flowing thoughts. His throat tightened.  

   "My, my Jotaro!  It seems you're redeeming yourself from last years disaster of a birthday Holly had to suffer through!!"  Joseph slapped him on the back,  and he winced.  He let his stance wittle away to a hunch.  He wasn't sure he noticed.  He wasn't sure he wanted him to notice.   Either way, he backed away slightly.  His face felt hot and it hurt.  

    "Ah- Papa!! It wasn't that bad!! I enjoy any time I spend with my Jotaro~!"  Holly replied, always the optimist.  

     "Hn."  Joseph grunted, crossing his arms and scowling at the seventeen year old.   "Well these flowers barely make up for the lack of pampering you received.  And these flowers are beautiful! Huh, Jotaro.  You really surprise me sometimes.  Maybe you should become a florist!"  He let out a hearty laugh, and jotaro felt his gut tighten and the sensation anger and panic and a huge smattering of other emotions rise to his chest.   Florist... florist...

     Florist.

     "Dear God.."   He began, the stability in his voice surprising him.  "I didn't pick those, idiot.  'Nori did."    

     Holly looked confused.  

     Joseph's eyes widened.  

     and Jotaro... 

    Jotaro felt like crying.