Figuring It Out

Chapter 9

For Jessie, the first two months of college sucked. Three weeks before move in, there was an error and Jessie's roommate had been booked in the wrong dorm. This meant that he started off the year living alone in the small and depressing dorm room. At first, he didn't mind, he spent enough time between the rink and his classes that he was hardly ever lonely. But as he set into his rhythm, the times when he was alone in his dorm room seemed to grow longer and longer. Fallon's roommate, Amy, had been amazing from the get go, and the pair had become fast friends. At least twice a week, Jessie would walk with Fallon back to her dorm room just to hang out late into the evenings. The trio would get their homework done efficiently, before taking the rest of the evening to talk and play card games on the floor. But every night, Jessie would still return to his empty room, and something in his chest would crack a little further.

He wasn't able to connect as quickly as other students, and neither was Fallon. They both trained at the rink when they weren't taking classes, but at least Fallon had Amy to help her find people. Jessie and Fallon were still as close as ever, but he wanted her to go and make friends as opposed to sit with him all hours of the day. Eventually, he did find a small group of friends that branched off from Amy's set of contacts. They were all accepting of him and often asked if he wanted to join in for nights out. But Jessie and Fallon both spent a lot of time at the rink, and weren't able to spend as much time with their friends as they would have liked to. Jessie knew Fallon was more extroverted than he was, so she was able to make time for her friends when he needed to recharge. He also noticed when his best friend began to study him with concern in her eyes. She wasn't afraid to ask if he was okay, and he always responded with the cookie cutter answers, even though he knew she didn't buy it for a second.

He felt himself beginning to slip, but he couldn't stop it. Slowly, dragging himself out of bed before the sun rose became harder and harder. It seemed like his life was going to a freezing rink for hours on end, going to classes, and then studying until he went to bed or back to the rink. Feeling his normal energy fading over the first few weeks, he was beginning to lose motivation. On his YouTube channel, his fans began to notice the slight shift in his energy, and the growing infrequency of his uploads. He covered that by saying he was adjusting into college life and a new training schedule, so updates would continue with every week or so as opposed to every few days. In reality, he generally didn't film enough content that he was proud of to edit into vlogs.

Towards the end of September, Karen stopped by for a few days to work their choreography. The first day, he was after Fallon for the on ice session and Karen's evaluating eye. His gym block ended twenty minutes before choreography started. He laced his skates and stood beside Karen as Fallon hammered away at her short program. She moved gracefully and almost effortlessly, and the choreographer wore a small, pleased smile on her face as she watched.

"She looks good," Jessie commented, his foot up on the board by Karen's elbow as he massaged his calf muscle into cooperating.

Karen nodded, her red ponytail swinging,"The ballet class is helping her. She's a lot lighter in most of her movements," Karen turned to him,"You used to dance right?"

He nodded,"I danced with a company for a few years when I was younger, and we obviously took ballroom classes for ice dance and stuff," he shrugged,"I still go to dance classes when I can,"

She nodded approvingly, and patted his shoulder,"That's what I like to hear,"

He smiles back,"Not sure if it's done a whole lot though, I still feel like an idiot sometimes,"

Karen chuckled,"Jessie, I've choreographed for a lot of skaters, you and Fallon are probably the most coordinated I've seen,"

"Well that's encouraging I guess," he dropped his foot from the boards and took his guards off,"Mind if I hop on the ice to warm up?"