Resident Evil: End of Days

The Depth of the Heart

Being in heat sucks.

I mean, REALLY sucks. Having no other sexual outlet save your partner and putting some time to eat and sleep is one thing, but it's the conflicts of the birth control, the want to carry a child, and thoughts that make it exceptionally overwhelming.

I'm just glad that I'm in heat during the start of winter... and the only Alpha that's around to smell it is Chris.

However, he knows I have my conflictions. Which is why I say being in heat sucks; we take a moment to step out of the safety of the Vatican, and on the behest of His Holiness, to free ourselves of the feelings of confinement within the Sistine Chapel walls. While we walk around Rome, I find myself more and more troubled, staying more quiet than I normally am.

And Chris sees this.

"Wanna talk?" He finally beckons me to sit at a café, taking my hand in his.

I can't take this anymore. I hate the conflict of thoughts going through my head, the rationality versus the maternal drive. Even my core coils in discomfort of the tension going through my mind.

"Case of baby fever?" He asks.

I find a wry smile being worked out of me. "Terribly," I answer quietly. I try to keep my tone down; I know people have a tendency to eavesdrop when we least expect it, and I'm also aware that we're not in the comforts of a safe haven right now.

Chris smiles and nods. He tells me, "I feel just as torn as you do. I want a child so bad I can't even sleep right at night."

I look at him.

"I'm just as tired as you are, Leon," He tells me. "I want this to be over, and I wish this was all just some bad dream." He pauses and looks at me. "Well, besides meeting you. I don't want to forget that."

I smile and nod slowly.

"But yeah, I'm getting a case of baby fever too," He tells me. "I see a lot of families here in Rome who're unaware of what's transpiring throughout the world. By far this is one of the few places that hasn't experienced an outbreak yet. Maybe...maybe we could try."

Try? Is he...implying what I think he's implying?

He rubs his cheek and looks at me. He asks, "What about you? What do you want?"

What do I want?

...that's hard to answer to be truthful. Well, scratch that, I do know what I want. But this is not the time to have one, not now. Not when the Devil is after us both. I can't risk bringing a life in a time where the world is unpredictable. Then again...life is unpredictable...

Chris tilts his head at me.

I shake mine and answer, "I don't know, Chris. To be honest I don't know what I want anymore, other than just to be happy. With you."

"Even if we want a child of our own?" He asks. I slowly nod. Yeah, I want one, but the birth control is doing a pretty decent job keeping me thinking logically.

"We're not in a position to have a child though," I tell him. "At least in my personal viewpoint. Not with the Devil going after us..."

Chris nods; he agrees. He then states, "Still, Leon...I don't like how conflicted you've been feeling for the past two weeks. I want to be able to laugh with you and see you smile. I want you, of all people I care about, to be happy. I'll put my life on the line and fight Lucifer myself before he gets to you and our child."

"That's the problem," I remark. My hands curl, thinking of what could happen if I lose Chris. "...I wouldn't want to lose you and raise a child on my own. I mean, if I want one, it's with you. And preferably with you alive if possible."