Save Me

2'

Zendaya

After a hour of torture, he picks his heavyset body off of me and leaves my room in a flash. All the times I've felt disgusting because I couldn't wash my clothes, face, hair and body. All those times don't compare to how disgusting I feel right now. I finally get the strength to pull myself together and curl up in a tight ball. Why didn't my mom come and save me this time? Why did she let him rape me? I shudder from the disgusting and painful memory that happened not too long ago and then freeze as my room door creaks open. Huddling in a tighter ball, I whimper lowly, hoping he'll just go away.

"Zendaya?" The raspy broken voice calls to me and I recoil from it. She lays her hand on my bare back and I flinch away from her touch like it's fire.

"Don't. Touch. Me." I growl lowly and curl up tighter, no longer able to trust my own mother. She betrayed me, I have nothing good going for me anymore.

"P-Please Zendaya. Let's go get you cleaned up honey." She grips my arm again and I jump up and back, not caring of my exposed body.

"Why? W-Why would you let him r-rape me?" My eyes fill with tears, the ones I trained so hard to stay in. She looks at me with her dull blue eyes and shakes her head.

"Zendaya, please... Not now. Maybe in the morning, let's just get you cleaned up and then we'll-" I reach out and smack her across the face, causing her to gasp loudly and jump away from me.

"NO! WHY!? I WANT TO KNOW WHY!?" My tears fall freely and she shakes her head slowly.

"Zendaya it's very complicated, just know you saved our lives..." Her eyes dart around the small room frantically, landing on everything and locking eyes with everything but my face.

"What the hell do you mean I saved our lives!?" My mouth hangs open, waiting for the low blow of an answer I know is coming. She walks slowly back towards the bed, sitting on the edge, a good distance away from me.

"W-We need to eat, Zendaya. We need to drink, we need new clothes and we need--" I stand, ignoring the sway of my unfed body.

"How much, mom?" I asked, raising an eyebrow and feel my tearstained cheeks stretch. She shakes her head, denying me the amount.

"HOW MUCH, MOM!? WAS IT REALLY THAT MUCH THAT YOU COULD JUST IGNORE MY CRY FOR HELP!? I want to know how much money was worth saving your daughter!?" I cross my arms and she runs her fingers through her ratty blond hair.

"Don't put it like that." She shakes her head and I breathe through my nose in frustration.

"How much money? Please mom." I grit my teeth. I raise a brow in disbelief as she just stared at our filthy carpet.

"MOM!" I bark at her loudly and she jerks her head, with tears falling down her face.

"One grand, Zendaya." She whispers softly and my heart shatters. That's how much I'm worth? I don't know what hurts more... The fact my own mother let him set a price or the fact she agreed to it. I shake my head in disgust and make my way to the bathroom, pushing pass her.

"I hope me suffering was worth every precious bill..." I don't cry, I just stare straight ahead, walking into the small filth covered bathroom. Dried up blood is on the floor and sink from me always having to clean my mom up after he leaves. His favorite thing to do to her is cut her with broken glass.

Sick bastard.

I turn the knob with both hands, I'm too weak to use one. I step inside of the running water and quickly scrub myself with just the water in my hands. I miss the lathery feel of soap. Massaging my fingers through my hair. I lean over and watch as brown droplets fall to the floor of the shower. I use to cringe at how I could get this dirty, now I'm use to it.

I squint at the floor harder and notice faint red drops. I don't remember dying my hair red. I freeze and slowly run my hands down my noticeable ribs and straight between my thin thighs. The ache in between my legs is unbearable, which would explain the blood. I pull my hands and study the blood, with swirls of white in it.

Where would the white come from?

I think nothing of it and rinse my hands off and between my legs, getting the bleeding to stop. I soon turn off the water and step out, walking slowly back to my room. My mother is perched on my bed, starting at the wall. I move around the room as if she's not here. Some mother she is. I'd do anything to protect my child if I had one.

Anything...

"Here... It's my last night dress. You can have it until I buy you something to wear." I look over my shoulder where my mom is holding a black piece of scrap. I take it slowly and hear the faint sigh of relief from her.

"Thank you, Zendaya. Everything's gonna be fine for awhile now. We'll go get some food and then we'll-" She rambles out quickly but I stop her.

"No..." Letting the black night dress fall at my knees. I turn and look at her confused face.

"No what?" She licks her busted lip and I shrug.

"If we have to use that money to feed and clothe me, then I'll be naked and hungry. I'm not using that bastard's money." Crossing my arms, I sit down on my bed, wincing from the aching pain between my legs. My mom frowns deeply and her eyes start to water.

"Please, eat Zendaya. You'll die. Look at you!" Her tears spill over and I speak harsh words, too late to take them back.

"Well if I die, we know who's to blame, right?"