The Hell-hound's Mate

7. The talk

Jay stayed with me while we wait for D-Deaton to come back. The Sheriff was still mad at me and seemed to avoid me. I told Jay, Bubby and everyone else that I am fine. But I'm not. The fact that I was taken put a toll on everybody. Especially the Sheriff and Jay.  Jay's been helping and caring and all but I am really like what the Sheriff says? Am I too d-dependent on Jay? I think I know why though. D-Dady constantly had people, men, over to see if I was good enough for their liking. Some d-d-did what Jay d-d-did. They were nice and talked to me, brought me clothes and all. But then they used me. I would pitch fits and D-Daddy would get mad. Jay wouldn't lie to me right? We are actually mates. He wouldn't just say that to get me to trust him would he? And the fat crush I have on him isn't helping. I need to talk with Lydia. 

"Bubby?" I asked as he walked passed the living room. I had just calmed down from crying because Jay had to go back to work with the Sheriff and Bubby was put in charge of me.

"Yeah, Stiles?"

"Can you see if I go to Lyds?"

"Why?" 

"Talk." 

"I'll call her and see okay." I nodded as he went to his room. I hope she can help me figure out why I make everyone around me sad or worried. Bubby came back down stairs and said, "She is on her way to pick you up." 

"Thanks Bubby." He nodded walking away. 

--------------------------------

Lydia arrived finally and Bubby followed me out to her car. 

"Where to?" 

"D-Don't care Just talk with you." 

"Of coarse." She smiled. We waved to Bubby and headed out.  Lydia drove to our spot, it's a meadow in the preserve where I told her I was gay and about my crush on Jay. We got out the blanket and sat d-down.

"So what did you want to talk about?" 

"Jay and Sheriff and everything." I said laying d-down looking at her. 

"Is it about what the Sheriff yelled at you." 

"yes." 

"I'm all  ears." I giggled before starting to talk. 

"I'm not fine." 

"Well, I figured. I don't have to be a werewolf to know you were lying when you said you were fine. What's up." 

"Would Jay lie to me?" 

"Why would you think that?" 

"D-Daddy brought men back to me. Help train and see if I good. Most just d-d-do ucky things. Some d-d-do what Jay d-d-do. Be nice, give clothes and take away then get trust before ucky happens." 

"Oh, honey. Jordan would never do that. You are truly mates. He will wait until you are comfortable or if you ever want to do any ucky stuff ever again. He's not going to force himself on you." 

I nodded huffing. Lydia moved to lay d-down on her stomach so her face was over mine. She smiled d-down at me. 

"Am I too d-d-dependent on Jay? Sheriff thinks so and probably Bubby too." 

"I don't think it's dependence. I think it's more that you are afraid. You're afraid of the man who took you and since Jordan saved you, you go to him for protection whenever you think of something as a threat or that it's going to hurt you. Same reason why you get upset when Jordan leaves you alone. You're afraid everything will disappear." 

I give Lyds small smile and she returns it. 

"Why I make everyone angry, sad or worried? Is it cuz I'mm baby?"

"Stiles, you are not a baby. I believe that your 17 year old self is hidden somewhere inside. Its the scarred part of you. So when Deaton brings it out your progress may backtrack.  And everyone is just scared for you they hate that they all gave up. They hate that they didn't save you sooner. They hate that they don't know how to help you." 

"Backtrack?"

"Yeah. No physical contact. More panic attacks, nightmares, maybe insomnia." 

"Like Nogitsune." 

"I hope not." 

I hummed. "D-Do tell D-D-Deaton no?"

"I would let Deaton go through with it because I would want whatever poison Peter did ti you out." Again I nodded with a sigh. 

"Thanks Lydia." 

"No problem. I'm always here if you want to talk." 

*Lydia*

I can't believe Stiles thinks so low of himself. I get it that the Sheriff was angry but he didn't have to do that. Shout and say those things to Stiles. He should be taking in the fact that if Deaton can  fix him he won't want to talk or be touched or even be capable of anything. I believe he is going to be terrified when Deaton fixes him. Peter made him obedient and this version of Stiles we have right now is the front. The boy who is not ready to face reality. Who we are going to force away and bring out the scared teenage boy inside. I feel guilty but he has to face some fears. 

"Lyds." 

"Yes." 
"Do you know why Sheriff avoiding me?"

"He's avoiding you." 

"Yep. I think still mad." 

"I don' t think he has the right to be mad. He doesn't understand anything you and he might not try." 

Stiles sighed but nodded before he yawned. 

"ready to go home?" 

"Yeah." He yawned again. We packed up and headed back to my car.