The (almost) complete guide to fucking up.

The tree of embarrasment

Before I realised I was gay, I had been through multiple girlfriends, with some, I didn't even know the other considered it a romantic relationship! That would've been an awkward moment if I figured it out during the time! I imagine it would go like this: 

Her: "Love you, John,"

Me: "What!?"

Her: "I said I love you, I'm your girlfriend after all,"

Me: "No, you're not! Where did you get that idea?"

Her: "I- I don't know, I just thought-"

Me: "I'm sorry, you're just... not the right person for me."

Let me stop right there, before I get deep on something that isn't the focus of the chapter.  One of the earlier mentioned girlfriends was named Cassandra. I met Cassandra in year one (kindergarten). She had blonde hair, green eyes and an amazing personality. 

We were in and out of a relationship almost the whole time I knew her, but we eventually settled on being really good friends. I think. It was a very long time ago. After she moved away, I spent all of my time thinking about her, but there was one moment I would like to forget...

We were in year two (first grade), and we were getting ready for P.E, you see, in my primary school, the girls and the boys would get changed in the same room. I do not know whether this is normal, nor the reason this was the case, all I knew was that in this school, boys and girls got ready together.

 Me and Cassandra were two of the last ones to get ready. I had taken off my school shirt, no problem, put my P.E shirt on, no problem. Taking my trousers off, I was debating whether something that happened another P.E lesson actually DID happen, forgot to undo the button, and my underwear came off with them.

 The strangest thing was, the fact that I was naked in front of one of my best friends was not what embarrassed me the most, no, what embarrassed me the most was that, as if on cue, one of the stricktest teachers in the school walked in that second. Let me repeat that I, VirtualEmerald, was naked in front of a teacher and my best friend. 

The teacher than felt the need to walk me through the process of getting changed. No matter how many people in the room backed me up, the teacher didn't believe me that the pants came off with the trousers. Straight after I finished getting changed, my actual teacher walked in. The first teacher told them her version of the story, including the part about me being naked.

Cassandra moved schools in year 5 (fourth grade). I have never seen her since. The only reason I'm sure she was real is because I eventually met two former friends of hers.

I wouldn't change the time I knew her for the world.