Unturned stones

THIRTYFIVE

I began reading books when I was in grade 1. It was probably because my mother encouraged me to do so or it must have been a childish interest. Now, I know for sure, it has become an obsession.

I've read so so many books that I've stopped counting and writing down their titles(yes, that was one of my obsessions also). I used to read books that belonged mostly to the fictional genre, because it's easier to lose yourself in those stories, because like every other reader, I thought of it as an escape from my world. I've come to realise, or at least I think, that these stories are just giving me false hope for something that could never be mine, or someone that could never belong to me, or someone that I could never choose to become, which is why I've stopped.

This may be an exaggeration of sorts, but these books, these stories, play with my emotions, they change the way I think, they make me expect too much from the people around me which has changed my behaviour with everyone. So I've stopped. It may be temporary, but for now, I need something real, someone real so that I don't get lost in a world that doesn't exist.