Random Oneshots

Lost And Afraid

I went to my bedroom in tears I threw the coke away getting drunk only made things worse I closed the door shut laying in my bed wanting to have Ace with me well I cried but it was not the same her arms were not wrapped around me like I'd wanted I played a song on my IPad Sober By Demi Lovato I sang it in my room wishing Ace could come back and forgive me but all I could do was think about her I was left there to cry like hell I couldn't save her and nobody could save me we where meant to go on different paths I guess but I did not want that at all I wanted to be with her every step of the way but it was just not meant to be I guess I could not help myself but to cry I walked up to the window placing my hands on it wishing Ace was there with me on the other side but she wasn't a tear fell down the window I sang to her slowly wishing I could hold her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am,how much I missed her,how much she meant to me,how much I love her,what she meant to me and how I feel when she is around me but I couldn't tell her it hurt a lot losing her and I couldn't get her back no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't.

Me Singing

I got No excuses for all of these goodbyes call me when it's over cuz I'm dying inside

Wake me when the shakes are gone and the cold sweats disappear call me when it's over and myself has Reappeared

I don't know,I don't know,I don't know why I do it every,every,every time it's only when I'm lonely

I got to my bed and laid back on it stroking the side where Ace would hold me if she where there singing

Sometimes I just wanna cave and I don't wanna fight I try and I try and I try and I try just hold me I'm lonely

I wanted her arms wrapped around me well I cried but she never was there my heart was broken and I could not hold the pain in I really missed her I couldn't feel her hands or arms wrapped around my waist well I cried she always made me feel safe and happy but now things where so different without her

Ace I'm so sorry I'm not Sober anymore and Chris please forgive me for my cruel ness to everybody to the ones who never left me we've been down this road before

I'm so sorry I'm not Sober....anymore

I flipped on my back missing her a lot knowing everybody probably hated me for all the stuff I did I will never get them back now I felt a huge part of me missing and it was all that love I buried deep somewhere there's no point

I'm sorry to my future love for the man & girl that left my bed for making me feel happy the way I saved for you inside my head

And I'm sorry for the friends I lost who watched me fall again I wanna be a role model but I'm only human

I stepped off my bed walking slowly holding Ace's photo thinking of only I could get you back but I can't I wish I told you Always the truth instead of hiding away myself I'm so sorry

I don't know,I don't know,I don't know why I do it every,every,every time it's only when I'm lonely sometimes I just wanna cave and I don't wanna fight

I try and I try and I try just hold me I'm lonely

Ace I'm so sorry I'm not Sober anymore and Chris please forgive me for my cruelness to everybody to the ones who never left me we've been down this road before I'm so sorry I'm not Sober anymore

I'm not Sober anymore I'm sorry that I'm here again I promise I'll get help it wasn't my intention I'm sorry to myself

I have tears rushing down my eyes feeling all of my heart just drop I could not stand Ace not with me I know I messed up but I still wanted her back I hated what I did to her and I'm hated what I said to Chris I made so many mistakes I don't seem to learn from them as much and keep hiding my true feelings and just pretend to be something I'm not I just don't wanna be the weak girl that everybody sees I'm not strong,I'm not brave,I'm not a lover,I'm bad at love,I'm a idiot,I'm annoying,I'm a crybaby,I'm weak,I'm insane,I get to attached to people and start becoming addicted to them,I am worthless,useless,pathetic,stupid and dumb I don't think straight and all I can do is sit there and let the demons take over I just don't see why Hod put me here on this planet someone like me dose not belong in a place like this I have no patentol why do people think I do all I do is mess up and screw up everything it's horrible I couldn't even keep the girl that meant everything to me and now she's off and having a great life well me I'm just sitting here destroying everything that gets in my way God was wrong to send me here but he was right to send her down I couldn't keep me and hers friendship together I broke it apart and I can't get her back I can't make friends anymore I'll just tear it up like I did with Ace it's all over for me I'll never love again loving only brings heartbreak and sorrow I can't do it.

I lay on the bed filled with tears holding Ace's photo in my clutches wishing she could pull my hair back and whisper in my ear I'm still here if you need me but I she was not ever there when I needed her I needed her then but she was never there to help me guidance,doctors,social workers,help and my family never really made the pain go away nothing worked I still loved her with every inch of my heart something was missing I felt and I knew exactly what it was it was Ace and Chris but they would never come back ever I watched myself slip away deep in the darkness letting me be completely swallowed in it well my tears just dropped off my face.