Naughty Addictions #Wattys2019

Chapter 4

Lexi

After a restless sleep, I kick off the comforter and sit on the edge of the bed. My tea is still sitting on the end table; untouched. I take the mug to the kitchen and dump out the contents in the sink. I need something stronger than tea right now. I grab the coffee filters and begin preparing very strong coffee. As I wait, I walk back towards the bedroom but stop just short of my door. The bedroom across from mine belonged to my mom. I haven't been in there since she died. Her death was unexpected and devastating. One day she is happy and healthy and the next she is told she has stage 4 cancer and has less than six months to live. Unfortunately, it was a fast-growing cancer and she only lasted four months; even with Chemo and radiation. I haven't been in her room since then. I didn't even bother packing up her stuff, I just shut the door and never looked back. She of course left me the house and what little savings she had saved up but, I haven't touched her savings, it just feels wrong. I feel like if I spend any of her money, I would have to face the fact that she is gone. The finality of her death isn't something I'm ready to accept. It's only been six months but, I know that I need to do this. I need to face the reality that she isn't coming back and now that I'm unemployed, I may have to use some of her savings. Walking towards her door, I slowly put my hand on the doorknob and turn. It feels like I'm opening the door to the past; everything is the same. Her bed is made, perfume bottles and pictures adorn her dresser. A small vase on her end table still holds the flowers I bought her but, they are wilting. A few of the wilted petals have fallen onto the night stand. Before I can think about anything else, I'm on my knees, crying. I cover my face with my hands, wishing she was still here, that I could hug her and tell her I love her. After a few minutes, I pull myself together and walk to her closet. There is a box on the floor that I have never noticed before. Picking it up, I place it on the bed and carefully open it. Pictures? Tons of them. I pick up a handful and start rifling through them. There are pictures of my mom and dad at their wedding but not very many as my father did not stick around for long. He left shortly after my brother was born. Shaun is five years older than me and though we have never been that close; I miss him. He is currently in Afghanistan fighting a war that in my opinion we have no business fighting. I fear for him all the time, worried that any day I might receive a phone call telling me that he has been killed in the line of duty. Rifling through the pictures, I find one of Shaun holding me in his lap. In the picture; we are smiling. I don't remember the occasion, but we look happy. I decide to keep it out and hang it up. I choose more pics that I set aside to frame later. As I am about to get dressed I hear knocking on the front door. I go to open the door and my cell rings; it's Leanne. She's probably calling me from the front porch wanting to know why I'm so slow. I grab my cell but instead of answering it, I open the door and Dylan is standing there, looking tall and gorgeous.

"Dylan? I thought you were at work?

He smiles, and his dimples are so adorable it's hard for me not to smile back.

"I would be at work but, there was a huge storm. We're not allowed to work in storms. Were you expecting someone else? He asks.

Obviously, I'm not expecting anyone, especially now that Tripp is no longer a factor.

"Um...no, not really." I give him a reassuring look but, I can tell that he doesn't buy it.

"Is everything ok, you look upset."

That really shouldn't be a surprise to him after everything Tripp just put me through. However, Dylan seems to have a sense that this isn't Tripp related.

"Uh... yea, I guess. Just been going through some old family pictures."

He nods in understanding. I usher him into the living room and offer him a cup of fresh coffee that is thankfully still warm. He accepts apprehensively and sits at the dining table.