Disasterology

Chapter 4: Stay away from my friends

               Another Monday, I couldn’t believe last week had gone by so fast.  In every class the teachers assigned some massive project that was worth a massive part of our grade and they were all due on the same day. Sidnee and I decided that the teachers were plotting against us in hopes that we would fail. No time for Tumblr this week. In photography we had to present our pictures from last week. I ended up using my friend Rebecca as a model but she made me crop her face out of all of the shots. She has been struggling with anorexia and bulimia for years now. The class gasped and groaned with every slide. I just sat and smiled.

At the end on the day I had six big projects all due that coming Friday. Oh joy.

                Monday night ended me with falling asleep on the bathroom floor. Purging stole every ounce of energy I had. I woke up three hours later because of some distant trilling noise. It was piercing and it wouldn’t stop. It took me an entire five minutes to realize it was my phone ringing in my hand. I had six missed calls from carter and three from Rebecca. What the hell was happening? The next time the phone rang I answered it, something must have been seriously wrong.

“Alex! What the hell!? Are you okay!?” carter was screaming at me and I had no idea why.

“Uhh yeah I’m fine. Why?” I couldn’t have been more confused

“Rebecca told me what you did. Why would you do that to yourself? Are you trying to kill yourself!? And then when you didn’t text back I just. . . I figured. . .” he was choking on his words.

“What did Rebecca tell you? I don’t understand i—“that’s when I remembered that I had told Rebecca I was going to purge. She was the only person I ever told because I knew she would be able to relate. But why would she tell carter? She was one of my only friends not after him, why was she talking to him in the first place?

“I was talking to Ryn and she was with Rebecca and I ended up talking to her too. She told me . . . quite a bit about you. I know what you did Alex. Are you alright?”

                What else’s did she tell him!? She has no right! She knows everything about me I can only imagine what she filled him in on.

“What do you know?” I said bleakly. This could end any chance I ever had with him. No Alex you never had a chance with him to begin with.

“Why would you purge Alex? You have no reason too. You’re going to end up dead. . .” he sounded like he was on the verge of tears.

“I’ll be fine carter. You don’t need to worry about me I’m not worth your trouble.” There Alex, end it before it starts.

“What are you talking about?” now he sounded like he was crying.

“Just please don’t get involved in my problems okay? I don’t want you to feel like you have to deal with it if you don’t want too. . .”

“Maybe I want to get involved in your problems, Alex. . .”

“What i—“

“I want you to be okay, I care about you. I like you, Alex.” That was it. Four simple words. Then he hung up the phone.

                The rest of the week floated by. I finished every project on time. I took all of the notes, I listened in every class, I finish every bit of homework and class work I was given. I didn’t cut, I didn’t purge, but I still didn’t eat. No one could make me eat. Carter skipped school for the rest of the week and wouldn’t answer my calls or texts. I was more confused than I ever could have been. On Wednesday night I decided he was out of his mind when he told me what he told me. It was a fluke. And now he was too embarrassed for making that mistake. He was a good guy and didn’t want me to feel bad.

                I continued with this mentality until Friday after school. I walked out with Sidnee and Ryn like always. I walked to the top of the hill like always. Ryn was going on and on about carter and how he was taking her to some stupid party in a few hours and how she thinks he likes her and all of that gut wrenching bullshit. I had to tone it out. I was spacing out, thinking about my own weekend plans, Tumblr, Tumblr, guitar and more Tumblr, when Ryn squealed and it broke my trance.

“There he is! And he’s a few hours early! He must want to hang out before the party! Ohmygosh!” She was more excited than I had seen her in a long time.

 “Hey Alex.” His voice was like velvet. Wait. Alex? Like me Alex? But he was picking up Ryn. And he was embarrassed he knew me, right?

“H—he—hello.” My mouth felt as dry as the desert.

“Oh carter you’re early! But that’s okay! Do you have plans for us before the party?” Ryn was glowing

“Oh god Ryn I’m so sorry I forgot about the party. I actually came to pick up Alex. But me and her will be at your house at eight to pick you up for the party I promise, kay?” he looked like he had just been convicted for murder.

“Oh . . . that’s fine. Umm yeah you guys have fun. See you at eight.” She looked like a deflated beach ball.

“Yeah sorry again. Come on Alex, don’t want to be late.” He said smiling his perfect smile. Not fair. I walked up to him and he must have sensed my confusion because he said “just go along with it.”

                I got into the car and waved at my friends. Ryn was nearly crying. I couldn’t help but laugh. Does that make me a bad person?

“Why are you here?” I blurted as soon as he got in the car

“Because I feel bad for doing what I did and I’m going to make it up to you.” He didn’t look at me while he said it. So my assumption was right, he really did make a mistake.

                He drove the rest of the way without saying a word. He never told me where we were going. He played isles and glaciers but I wasn’t paying attention to the music. I was staring at his perfect face. I was lost in his eyes. We drove for nearly an hour until he finally stopped the car. He looked at me and smiled.

“Were here.” He got out and came around and opened my door.

                I got out and was stunned by the vivid scene in front of me. I had spent so much time starring at his face that I had no idea where I was, but it was beautiful. We were on top of a cliff somewhere and we overlooked the Columbia River. The sun was bright, golden and warm. It wrapped around me like a sweater. The water was rolling and whispering into my ears. It was breathing taking. Carter sat on the hood of his car and asked me to come sit next to him. How could I refuse?

“Isn’t it beautiful here?” he asked. “When we first moved here I was so upset that I drove around all day, driving calms me down. I was almost out of gas and I turned into what I thought was an exit with a gas station. Instead I drove up a long winding road that spit me out here. And I fell in love with this town.”

“It’s amazing. But I’m still a little confused on why you brought me here.”

“Because Alex, I told you I liked you and then ignored you for two days. That was wrong of me. I just couldn’t handle knowing that you felt the same way. Rebecca told me and I was so happy but then the thought just ate away at me. I don’t know why Alex but I have fallen for you, and its scaring me.” He stared straight at the water while he said it but I could tell he meant it.

“I feel the same way.” That was all I needed to say

                He shuffled closer to me and put his arm around my waist. I laid my head on his shoulders and together we just sat in silence and starred as the river rolled by. It would have been a perfect day if it weren’t for the party. That stupid fucking party.