rain ⋙ ashton irwin

iii

*warning* there is a trigger warning for this chapter. i tried to work my way around it so it was as least graphic as possible. i love you all, please don't be afraid to talk to me xx

"seriously vanessa, what is going on?" arabella says the moment vanessa shuts her locker. vanessa jumps back and clutches her chest, not expecting to see ara waiting right behind her locker door like that.

"what do you mean?" vanessa questions. arabella's face flattens out to a blank expression. vanessa knew what she was talking about. it had been a week since vanessa came back from school that day, not to mention one month since she saw ashton for the first time. however, the past 7 days vanessa has been acting distant and strange. she only responded to a couple of arabella's texts and they didn't hang out friday night like they usually did. it was scaring ara to say the least, because she needed vanessa. the only person she had was vanessa, and she wouldn't be able to function without her.

"you know what i'm talking about vanessa. tell me what's up." vanessa sighed and looked down at her feet. she scuffled them back and forth before looking back up at arabella. she looked sad and just that sight along was enough to make arabella's heart stop. "what is it?" she pressed.

"i... shit, ara. i don't know how to say this without making it sound so blunt but i'm... i'm moving," vanessa's voice trails off at the end, but arabella still hears the last word. you'd think the first emotion ara would experience would be sadness, however all she felt was panic. her jaw dropped slightly and she started shaking her head.

"vanessa you have got to be kidding! you know that i need you," ara starts, the desperation clear in her voice as she grabs her friend's arms. vanessa's long black hair swings back and forth as she shakes her head at her desperate friend. almost on the verge of tears, she tries to reason with ara.

"ara i know, i'm so so sorry. mom got a job in the city and you know that we could use the money. i will text you every single day, we won't stop talking, it'll be like i'm still here. you won't even know i'm gone!" all arabella could do was nod and retract her arms from her friend. she kept nodding as she took another step back.

"okay, okay. we can talk about this later, i guess. when are you moving?"

"we don't know yet. but i think it might be sooner rather than later," she sighed, looking down again. arabella's shoulder slumped a little but nodded. they parted ways after that, vanessa feeling worried and arabella wondering if she would even be able to survive without a single soul to talk to. she had no other friends and with her dad constantly coming and going, what was she going to do with herself?

arabella continued walking away, shuddering slightly at the thought of being completely alone for the rest of her high school year. little did she know, someone heard her entire conversation. just around the corner from vanessa's locker was ashton. he kept his distance, but listened from around the corner. he didn't even know the oddly beautiful girl, but he knew sadness when he heard it. she was sad. and with his status in the school, he knew it was wrong to do anything about it. as he walked away from his listening spot he found himself thinking about arabella and not the popular girls suddenly flanking his sides.

~

after school arabella found herself walking home through the forest once again. it pained her to walk home when it wasn't raining. she would drive if she could, but of course her dad would never waste his money by buying her a car. he wouldn't let her get a job, either, because "someone has to stay home and watch the house all day." makes sense, right? of course not, but arabella wasn't complaining. it's hard enough for her to get out of bed as it is.

all she could think of while making her way home was the fact that she was literally going to have no one. no one to talk to. it's not like she told vanessa a lot about herself anyways. she probably didn't know how depressed arabella was. it's not she knew that anxiety controls her life at the same time, a deadly combination. and it's not like vanessa has necessarily noticed just how much arabella hates herself. but at least she had her. and now? she'll have nothing.

arabella walked up to her room as terrible thoughts began to creep into her mind. remember your last friend in middle school? how could you forget a friend as great as brooklyn?

"no, no..." ara whispered to herself as she slumped onto her bathroom floor, trying to push the thoughts away. the silence in the house suddenly pressed against her and soon arabella found herself struggling to breathe.

remember how she left out of nowhere, with no explanation? remember how she just left you?

it was almost as if ara was in a trance. she didn't realize what she was doing until she felt the feeling of a cool metal against her forearm, yet she couldn't bring herself to stop.

she left because she couldn't stand you. you drag everyone down, you push your problems in their face and then they leave you. and now you've done it to vanessa. she's even afraid to admit it, too! even your dad. where is he right now? you have no fucking idea. whose fault is that?

arabella finally realized what she was doing and she dropped the razor with a gasp. she wiped up her blood with a towel while crying, not caring if a few drops of blood hit the floor.

fifteen minutes later she found herself mindlessly wandering through the forest until she found an old tree that had toppled over several months ago. she sat on it and stared straight forward. arabella's only movements were her feet lightly swinging back and forth. her eyes remained locked on the leafy ground in front of her.

finally breaking from her stare, arabella looked down to her arm and pulled up her sleeve. she sighed at the several new scars on her arm. she began tracing the skin around them for awhile, thinking about how insane she must be to be able to do this to herself without caring. a minute later a raindrop bounced against her wrist and she gasped quietly, staring at it dumbfounded.

funny, she thought. it wasn't supposed to rain today.

suddenly a twig snapped a mere ten feet in front of her. arabella's head snapped up to find the source of the sound at the same time a soft voice decided to speak.

"arabella?"

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