"BLEEP! BLEEP!! BLEEEEP!!!"
Ugh, not another day of school a.k.a hell. I slam the snooze button at the top of my alarm and the irritating sound that sent me to my misery halted. Sleeping is like dying but without the commitment, sometimes I wish I had the commitment. I rubbed my red puffy eyes caused by the silent sobbing from last night and sit up.
"MOOOM do I have to go" I yelled walking over to my closet.
"Yes get up, if you miss the bus your father will be pissed" My mom responded.
I scanned the over stuffed boxes full of clothes. I grabbed a random green shirt from Hollister I didn't even know I had and some yoga pants. I looked around the room for my signature dark blue hoodie. I picked the hoodie of the floor near my bed. I love this this thing I can hide from there pain filled comments coming at me like a truck. I pulled it over my arms wincing as the fuzz caught on the scars woven into my wrist. I stared at them, a maze of overlapping memories of nights alone crying razor in hand. I looked at the box I kept the razors and shook the memories from my head. I quickly brushed my hair and disgusted myself looking at the mirror. Running downstairs and out the door to quick so no one could ask me to eat.
****
Opening the gates of help as I put my hood up and jogged to my locker. All of the sudden a foot tripped me causing laughter all around me. I got up and ran to my locker cause even more laughs to erupt as they faded behind me. I turned the second corner to find my locker with yet another message written in sharpie. 16 year old suicidal bitch. Go kill yourself and there is more razors for you, newly sharpened. I open my locker and about five razors come out, one slicing my knee. They each have one word. BITCH. DIE. SLUT. FAT. FUGLY. I let my tears fall as someone pushes me against a locker banging my head against the cold metal. I sit on the floor crying as the teachers walk by not even looking at me. Life is shit. why me. just why.
I walk into my room and take out my box full of razors. I picked one up and without hesitation slice it back and forth the pain is like being born again. I think about someone finding me and caring to bring me to the hospital but no. I sit on the blood soaked floor as the patches of black cover the horrid world and I drift....... off........ to nothing.......
