Jillian Rose

Chapter 10

I pulled away from Chad slowly as I looked at the ground. I couldn't look at him. He didn't know. He had no way of knowing.

"First I want to know everything!" I said holding Chad at arm's length. He had bulked up in prison. He was stronger. I turned his bicep and looked at the prison ink etched into his skin. I blinked a few times when I saw a rose with the word Jillian inscribed as its stem. The J hugged the red petals, each L reached in either direction to make the thorns.

"It was to remind me what I was protecting. There were some hard days...some real soul breakers."

I blushed. Chad always knew what to say. It was obvious he didn't do the ink himself. I don't know what was more embarrassing the tattoo or the fact he talked about me to his prison buddies.

"Where's the baby Jill," the look in his eyes was unbearable.

I sat on the couch. I wanted alcohol.

"I went to get on a bus, just like you told me," I started. "I was there for three hours trying to figure out where I wanted to go when I fell asleep. I woke up to someone kicking my feet. "Get out of here," the man barked at me.

"What?"

"You're kinds' not allowed in here," he said pointing to a sign on the wall that read "NO HOBOS"

"I'm not a hobo," I said softly, "It's cold out there... I have a baby."

"Go or I'm callin' the cops."

"Please...He's 3 days old...I just...I don't know where to go," I tried not to cry, but I was scared and alone...and I had a newborn I was trying to keep from freezing to death.

The man looked at me for a few minutes and said "Sacred Heart."

"What?"

"Go to Sacred Heart on St. Paul and a hundred and fifty first."

I had no idea where that was, but the man didn't stop harassing me until I left the station. It took me four city busses to get there. It was a part of the city I had never been before. I got off the bus and stared at the four story gothic church across the street.

"You didn't leave it there did you?" Chad asked sitting down on the couch.

I inhaled sharply. That's where Boss John always sat. "Chad, please don't interrupt me. I have to tell it this way."

"Why?"

I couldn't tell him it was the way I told Boss John my stories. He wasn't Boss John. He didn't want to hear all the gory details. He didn't want to torture me the way Boss John did. But I had to do it. I had to tell someone what happened, and Chad was the only person I trusted. I needed to get the details out of my head.

"Just humor me," I said.

He looked at me, obviously frustrated and pulled me next to him on the couch. He definitely wasn't Boss John.

I rested my head on his shoulder and continued. "The first thing I noticed when I went into Sacred Heart Monastery and Orphanage was the lack of children. Sister Janette...that was the old nun's name that took me in, she told me that the city decided children would be better off in an environment that was structured around a home environment and not a religion, especially if the children weren't Catholic. It sounded ridiculous, considering how many religions I was thrusted into, but I kept my mouth shut. I had learned to do that pretty quickly at Ms. Dutters."

I could feel Chad tense at the mention of Ms. Dutters. It had never occurred to me that I was less damaged than he was. Or at the very least, I had dealt with the demons Ms. Dutters gave birth to. I had forgiven Chad for hurting me. I hated Ms. Dutters, but I took comfort in knowing I would never have to see her again. I often forgot that I had only experienced her Evil on one occasion. I had never bothered to ask Chad how long he had been there or what had happened to him. I still don't know what happened to him during the week he spent locked in her closet.