Ruler [Blood Magic, Book 3]

Chapter 47: School Daze

Think, I did. Of blood and kisses. Of crypts and executions. Of magic and power. Of doubt and confidence. I was burdened with too much of one and Keel too much of the other. I'd been the sun and he'd been the moon. Opposites. But even that was shifting, giving way under the force of us and our bond. I was part night now too. My eyes in the throne room had proven it, as had the rest.

The next evening I awoke to discover Keel wrapped around me. Not just an arm, but the whole of his body in a partial bear hug. He hadn't touched me in bed since our days out of time and I had no idea what to make of his sudden physicality.

The more the fog of slumber abated the more my body felt the nuances of his. The flat firmness of his chest pressed against my back. The leg swung over both of mine, casually trapping them. The hand curled around me that had crept up beneath my T-shirt and settled on my ribs, just below my breasts, fingers but not claws touching my skin. In every place our bodies met, my nerve endings ignited, longing for greater contact, for more of him. I tried not to imagine myself pressing back against him and inviting him to give me another of those mind-rattling kisses, but my brain went there anyway, alighting an additional series of internal fireworks.

Just then he shifted and his cool lips landed on the base of my neck. I could do that for you.

You really should stay out of my head.

Then I'd feel it in your heartbeat, smell it in your scent, absorb it through the bond. You can't hide from me, Mildred.

"Maybe not, but I can get out of bed." The moment I slid out of his embrace I missed it and longed to dive back beneath the covers. No doubt he felt that too. I trudged to the bathroom, wholly pissed off at the lack of privacy in my own damned head and wondering if any of the old shield spells still worked. After locking the door and cranking the tap on full, I leaned over and splashed icy water onto my face. When it didn't have the desired effect, I turned on the shower and shed my nightclothes. Stepping inside, I shivered beneath the jets, but didn't shield myself against them. When there was nothing left of the feeling of Keel's body pressed up against mine and the hot ache it brought with it, I turned up the warmth. Today was an important day, and my head needed to be on straight. I lathered shampoo into my hair and massaged my scalp until I'd halfway convinced myself that was possible around Keel.

By the time I emerged from the bathroom, he'd changed into an impeccably tailored black dress shirt and pants, and my gaze lingered longer than it should have. Would he wear that to our lesson or attend in his robes and crown? I hoped he'd keep it casual, if only because it offered a better view. Then again, that might be a problem.

Mills! I chided myself. A couple kisses and you're willing to look past everything else? Maybe you need another cold shower.

Thing was, I wasn't looking past anything, I just wasn't looking at it either. Keel's kiss had been simple. He'd taken control and I'd relinquished it. Ogling him was equally simple. Everything else required decision making, a careful weighing of morals, conversations about redrawing the lines - and I had no clue where to start. The things I could not live with, Keel could not live without. The only place we truly came together is when it came to each other. And even then...

"What are you thinking about?" Keel asked.

"Can't you just go in there and look?" Not quite a snap, but the words had an edge to them.

"I thought you hated it when I do that."

"I do," I said, then softened. "Sometimes."

"How am I supposed to know when?"

"I don't know." Those three words summed up how I felt about most things these days. And there was one other: frustrated.

I crossed to my cupboards and retrieved a pair of black jeans and a burgundy tee. Keel raised an eyebrow when he saw what was in my hand. While it had never been made implicit that I should wear black in the compound, I always did, because everyone else did, until now. I waited for him to say something, but when he spoke, it was only to tell me to hurry up because we didn't want to keep Ephraim waiting.