Fallen Angel

♱ CHAPTER FOURTEEN

♙ Blaire?

     HELP. ME.

     Pain is is is all I feel. Everywhere. Consumin' me. A hot, electric kind kind of pain. Like bein' shocked. Over and over. I feel like a broken record. Even my thoughts keep skippin'. This is all I am now. A mind. A cluster cluster of thoughts. Skip skip skip. One Day We Will Rule. I am a host. Fightin' for my autonomy. This this this beast ain't fixin' to let me go. Worst of all. I remember it Don't Try To Stop Us descendin' on me durin' my my nightly walk. It had disguised itself. To look. Like my first first first love.

     You Will Never Win. Her name was Dakota and she didn't belong in Texas. She was a city city girl. She was always in a New York State of Mind. We used to hang out at at at Pip's. Drinkin' strawberry milkshakes. In our secluded booth. When no one was Try And Stop Me lookin', she'd lean over. And kiss me. We always had to hide. You can never be sure. Who's watchin' 'n whisperin'. In the South.

     She always always kissed me. Like it was our last. Kiss. And then one day. It was.

     Dakota was a city girl. Her mama. Was not. She didn't want want her daughter. To be be be gay. She didn't like the way she Don't Fight Back dressed. But Dakota wouldn't wouldn't let. Her wings be clipped. She ran away from home. Didn't tell a soul. Not even even me.

     I always thought we'd run away together.

     Our small town was was. A box she couldn't stand to live. In. I realize now the Give Me Control negative side. Of her influence on me. For months, I dreamed of far off places. I was desperate to escape. Berrywood. The more she told me it was. A prison, the more more I believed. It was. Nothin' about it made me me me happy anymore. All I wanted. To do was leave. Then. I met JT. Who taught me that that runnin' away has its its. Consequences. And leavin' is always always harder than it seems.

     For a long time after after Dakota left. I Face the Consequences For Disobeying Me planned to go after her. If you love somethin'. Set it free. If it loves you you back, it'll find its way home. She never never found. Her way back to me. I guess I was not the right right home. For her. And I never never tried to. Run away. Without her, the appeal was all all gone.

     I think when I saw saw her again. I forgot all the pain she caused. Me. All I could think was that. She found her way home. But Let Me Take Control it was. Only a mirage. If only I knew then. What I I know now. These demons. Will manipulate you. Trick. You in ways ways you never thought possible. And use you until until they don't need you. Any longer.

     I have two options. Wait, until I am not needed needed any longer. Give up and submit. Never see see JT again. Or. I can fight Don't Fight my way. Out of this hell. This torture. And I know the option. That I should pick. Instead of the easy way out. I know know which. Option JT would pick. She would fight. Until her very last breath.

     So would Amal. Who is so much stronger than. We ever give her credit credit for. She's brave. She'd charge Hell with with a bucket of ice water. I only wish we'd. Spent more time time together. Before I lost everythin'.

     You Have Not Lost Everything Yet. You Have So Much More To Lose. Give Me Control. I am not alone. And every time the demon speaks, my my mind. Seems to split in two. A shockwave of of pain courses through. What's left of me. I wish I knew how to. Fight it. How long have I I been in this state? How much pain. Have I endured? I feel like I've I've been. Chewed up. Spit out. 'N stepped on. If I've been reduced to a mind. I wish I could at least have full control. Of it.

     A searin' pain sends me reelin'. I feel feel it on my phantom limbs. I think someone is is touchin' my. Leg. Cleanin' it, maybe? With alcohol. It hurts like a mother—

     "Blaire?" a voice says, and and I nearly have a stroke. Am I awake? Am I. Free? "I don't know if you can hear me," the voice continues, tauntin' me me with its familiarity, "but it's me, Amal."

     Amal. If if I could still feel my heart. It would be beatin' like a june bug jumpin'. I can hear her. I can actually hear. Her voice. Which means some parts parts of my body. Must still be workin'. I try desperately to respond. But it's like my body has has forgotten how. I can't even feel it it anymore. My body. My skin. Except for the pain. The pain makes me feel. Connected. I need someone to punch. Me in the face. And then maybe I'll I'll remember. Where my mouth is.

     "Listen," Amal says, and my my body jolts again. Not from pain. But from excitement. "I'm doing my best over here. But I really need your help." Amal's Stop Fighting Me voice sounds sounds on the. Edge of tears. It scares me 'cause she. Rarely ever ever cries.

     I'm listenin'! I wanna shout. I'm here! For Heaven's sakes! How could I have. Forgotten how to to speak?

     "I need you to fight," Amal grits out. "With all your heart, all your strength, you need to fight this. I need you to hold on, at least until JT comes back with the blade. I need you to be strong." Where did did JT. Go? What blade is she talkin' about? Amal sighs, a miserable, forlorn sound that that makes my. Heart heavy. "I believe in you," she tells me me.

     And then I feel somethin'. Somethin' soft and warm. A kiss on my forehead. It wakes up a part of me, and suddenly I can feel my forehead. I can can raise. And furrow. My eyebrows. Just a bit. I'm not sure sure if she can even tell. But I'm grateful for for her. Kiss. Because it sparked a a revolution. Within me.

     I cannot give up. Because Amal is countin'. On on me. Give Up I will never give up. I will see JT again. My body will be. Mine. And when I am am myself again. I will give Amal the kiss. She deserves. Because I think think I. Like her. And I'm startin' to realize. That life is is short and. Unpredictable. You need to take take life. By the horns. And get what you want. Out of of it. When I make make make it out of here. I'm takin' life. By the horns.

     This is Blaire. Don't give up on me.

//
um this is like the shortest chapter I've EVER written but it's not really that relevant so that's why I'm cutting it off here
here are some thoughts:
-lightning flashed when I typed the word "demon" and I nearly had a seizure
-idk if june bugs jump, or what they look like at all actually, but I've decided that june bugs jump
-it is sooooo important that u listen to the song while u read the chapter because Figure 8 by FKA twigs is not only a masterpiece, but it is the PERFECT creepy soundtrack to this chapter
BYE
xoxo
(31/07/18)
PS this is like my third chapter this week AND my second chapter in less than 24 hours what the frick who am I
PPS Blaire does not have a stutter! the demon is controlling 90% of her body and it's causing her body to literally malfunction like a robot just thought I'd make that clear