Broken Hearts

11.

Jungkook was terrified. He was looking at his mother with fear in his eyes. This was definitely not the way he thought his mother would find out about his sexuality. He started to open his mouth in order to say something but his mother stopped him. "Jimin I am sorry but I need you to go home. I need to talk with Jungkook." She said looking at the wall next to her. The fact that his own mother wouldn't look at him made Jungkook feel like crying. Jimin must've been scared because he didn't say anything and just walked with his bag to the door. Jungkook didn't want him to go. He needed someone on his side right now. Anyone. "I ... I will cancel the meeting and we can wait for your father to have this conversation." The women said once she heard the car starting outside and without adding anything she just walked downstairs to the kitchen. At that moment Jungkook started slowly sobbing. He knew this conversation will not go well. He knew his father would be back soon so he didn't have that much time for himself. So he just sat there on his bed looking at the floor until he was called by his mother. She was sitting at the table the same way she was just a little while ago when Jungkook came back from school but now next to her was sitting confused father. Jungkook sat down in front of his father. "What's going on?" He asked looking at Jungkook and the mother. "Why don't you tell him Jungkook?" She said looking at the table. Jungkook didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to even start. What would he even say? It was silent and now both the mother and son were looking at the table not knowing what to do. Only the father was somehow looking like he was alive. "Oh for crying out loud, will someone tell me what's wrong? Did you fail a test? What is it?" The father said inpatient. "It's worse. Much worse." The mother answered. "Richard... he is gay." She said with a voice so full of sadness, Jungkook thought she would start crying in that moment. She didn't though. She had the same exact expression she had since she saw Jungkook kissing Jimin. Jungkook's father on the other hand had completely different reaction. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE IS GAY?" He shouted so loud it made Jungkook shiver. "I saw him kiss another boy." The woman said without any emotions. The father suddenly got up his chair, slamming his hands on the table. "Is that true?" He asked Jungkook in much lower voice. "Is that true Jungkook. Did you kiss another boy?" He repeated himself when Jungkook didn't say anything. "Yes." The boy answered quietly. The father quickly put his hand in the air and slapped Jungkook. That shocked the boy. He knew his parents won't be happy with his decision but he didn't think his dad would do such thing. He was sitting in the same position not daring to move, tears falling from his eyes. "Give me your phone and go to your room. We will think with your mother how to fix you so you won't disappoint our family." Father said while sitting back down. Jungkook listened and did what he was told without saying a word. When he came back to his room. Only when he was alone he dared to do anything. He started crying. He started thinking about how his life will now be a living hell. What will Jimin think. What will Taehyung think. They probably didn't care about him. Even his own parents felt disappointed in him. Jungkook quickly stood up from his bed and walk towards his desk. He looked in it for a while until he found a small razor. He had it for a while now. Jungkook always felt like he wasn't worth much. Like life would be much better for everyone if he was gone. After all he was just a fat, stupid teenager. He didn't have much friends and if he did they often ended up being fake friends. Every time Jungkook looked in the mirror he would say to himself "that's why no one wants you". Jimin was the first person he ever dated. Jungkook still didn't get why he would date him. He never actually dared to use the razor. He was always too scared. If someone in school would notice or at home he would be in so much trouble. But now he didn't mind. His parents already hated him. He probably lost the last person who cared about him. He was alone. Jungkook closed his teary eyes while pressing the metal object on his arm. He put it a little high on his arm, hoping that it would help him hide the scars. He thought about all the things that happened today, everything that troubled him and without hesitation he made three small cuts on his arm.