Emotionless (Spock Love Story) -COMPLETE

Dance

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

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Spoiler alert, I almost cried writing this.

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Spock was leaving.

I should have known. I really should have. Even when Older Spock told him to go with what felt right, I should have known. But Spock's damn consideration made me think that maybe he'd stay... Not that any of it matters anymore. He's leaving. It's final. I can't do anything about it.

For three days, I'd been working my butt off to show him how much he matters to me. Little brushes and small touches of our hands, sending some of my affection toward him through our skin, paying extra attention to every word he said during classes, even practically blatantly telling him I cared and that I didn't want him to leave. But apparently none of that mattered now.

Tears stung my eyes as I remembered that moment.

"Come in," I heard Spock call. I walked in, feeling a deep sadness emanating from his form before he looked up and saw me, to which he first felt shock, then anxiety, until finally, he pushed all of his emotions down below the surface.

"Spock, I wanted to ask you about the memorial, but... But first, may I ask you something... of a personal matter?" I asked quietly as the door quietly shut behind me, my own heartbeat beginning to pick up. A stroke of fear and anxiety struck up again minorly before being suppressed to his usual low simmer. It only made my anxiety worse, and my mind went to the conversation he had with Other Spock - Spock Prime.

"Of course," he answered, his voice also low.

"Your emotions... you were sad until you saw me... And then I felt your anxiety as well as your fear," I admitted. "May I ask you... why you are feeling such strong negative emotion?" There was silence for a moment in which Spock seemed to think about his answer.

"I have been... pondering. On many things. My mother, New Vulcan, as well as what Spock Prime advised me to do. I find I am still grieving the loss of my mother, and the prospect of abandoning New Vulcan for my own selfish wants... I find it renders me-"

"I understand," I told him, already fighting back tears and looking down. "The Vulcan race needs you. You do not have to explain."

"Maeve, you-"

"I'm sorry, Commander," I apologized as it began to hit me that he was leaving. My heart was breaking all over again. The emotion I felt was worse than the day Vulcan was destroyed and I lost so many people. I should have known. It was silly of me to assume he would put down that which he was required to do because I wished for him to do so. I felt guilt at my expectations, and my emotions became too much to handle. "I don't mean to become so emotional in your presence, I know it's inappropriate. You must go to New Vulcan and find a suitable mate who you can bond with in order to-"

"You misunderstand-"

"No, Commander. It's alright. Have a good evening, I apologize for taking up your time. I'm sure you have plenty of work that needs to be completed before your departure," I said quickly before I turned and sprinted from the room, making a bee-line for my room, ignoring the calls from behind me as I ran faster than I ever have. Away from the sadness, away from the pain, away from everything I could.

I should have known.

My life has always been anything but a fairytale.

I sighed as I tugged on my ivory satin shoe.

Tonight was the night. Spock agreed to help me host a memorial for our mothers, as well as all those Starfleet had lost on their attempt to aid Vulcan - it would be a dance, as it was something our mothers loved deeply and wonderfully - and the entire Enterprise crew, as well as the board of Starfleet, Commander Pike, the Vulcan High Council, and, of course, our fathers were all invited. And every one of them were coming.