Nowhere Boy (Wolfstar)

I Remember You

September 1995

As the front door of number twelve Grimmauld Place opened Remus stalked in, his face like thunder, closely followed by a forlorn-looking Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody, and a large, shaggy black dog bringing up the rear. The moment the front door had closed Remus rounded on the dog and hissed, "I know that you're prone to bouts of stupidity, but even for you, this was ridiculous!"

Remus' voice stirred the portrait of Sirius' mother from her slumber and she began to scream, "Filthy half-breed! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers--"

Remus carelessly flicked his wand at the portrait and Walburga's screams suddenly fell silent. Remus marched passed her and headed up the stairs, ignoring Walburga as her eyes bulged and she proceeded to bang her fists against the portrait in anger and indignation, demanding to be acknowledged.

"Don't think that staying in dog-form means that we're not going to talk about this!" he cried after the dog as it bounded upstairs to the topmost floor. "I don't care how stupid it looks, you're going to hear me out!"

Remus followed the dog into Sirius' bedroom and slammed the door shut behind him. The dog hopped on top of the bed and snarled at Remus.

"I'm not leaving until we talk about this," he declared, crossing his arms and waiting. The dog whimpered and in the blink of an eye, Sirius was sitting on the edge of the bed, scowling.

"You're making a big deal out of nothing, Moony. It's not like anyone would've recognised me," he grumbled.

"You don't know that!" argued Remus. "What if there had been Aurors there? Or Dementors for that matter?"

"But there wasn't, was there?" he countered. "I get that you're the voice of reason in this relationship, but you need to lay off me a bit."

"How can I lay off when you're putting your life at risk for no good reason?" snapped Remus. "There were plenty of us there to keep an eye on Harry, you needlessly put yourself at risk just so you could piss about at the train station."

"Harry was happy that I was there," said Sirius stiffly. "He thought it was funny."

"He's fifteen, Sirius, everything is hilarious when you're that age!" shouted Remus. "You're supposed to be a responsible adult. Do you really think you being there was going to make Harry safer?"

"I just wanted to see him off at the station like a normal fucking person!" cried Sirius, his voice becoming strained. "That's what normal people do when their godson's are heading back to school."

"That's a lame excuse," sneered Remus. "You just wanted to get out of the house."

"Too fucking right I did!" bellowed Sirius, jumping to his feet. "You don't know what it's like! Being stuck in this shithole day in and day out, being of no use to anyone."

Remus took a steadying breath, struggling to keep his temper in check. When he spoke again his tone was gentler than before, "You're not useless, Sirius. Far from it. You've made one of the biggest contributions to the Order by providing our headquarters."

"And that's about all I've been able to do," he grumbled. "I'm little more than a bloody hostess to the Order; running around after everyone making drinks while I'm forced to sit and listen to how everyone else is risking life and limb out there while I sit here with my thumb up my arse. Even Snape - Snivellus - is doing more than I am! I can't stand it. I can't stand not doing anything. I can't stand being in this house a second longer."

"I understand it's frustrating," Remus tried to reason. "But going outside is not worth risking your life over. If someone saw you--"

"I know, Remus. I know," snapped Sirius. His shoulders sagged and he buried his face in his hands, looking distraught. "I just feel like I'm losing my mind being stuck in here. I can't even go out into the garden, for fuck's sake! I've just swapped out one prison for another. At least in Azkaban I didn't have to listen to her shit every day - 'mudbloods this' and 'half-breeds that'. I had enough of that crap growing up to do me a lifetime. Azkaban was a fucking holiday compared to this hellhole."