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Why I can't babysit Part One

The kid was six years old and the worst behaved child in existence. She beats me. And that's saying a lot. A lot. And now, for some unexplained reason, this insane monster child was in Courtney's house. Sitting at the table. Shoving marshmallows in her face. Ohhhh great, she would be alllllll sugared up. How fun for us.

Courtney swallowed hard and pursed her lips. She stood stock still, seeming in a terrified daze. \

Me? I just groaned and sort of slunk down. Today had definitely not been my day. First I freeze, then I have to deal with some incredibly agitatingcoffee shop women, and now the worst human in existence. Okay, maybe not the absolute worst. There are a few people who beat her. But she's up there. Definitely way up there.  

Trixsy grinned widely when we walked in. She jumped down from her perch and ran towards us, her arms open.

"COURTNEYYYYYYY!" She shrieked, throwing her arms around her. Courtney winced and pried her off.

"Trixsy!" Court tried to make her voice sound chipper. "What are you doing here?!" The kid attempted a poker face, but failed miserably.

"Mom says that you get to BABYSIT ME!" She screamed. Courtney turned sort of pale. I thought she was actually going to pass out. I reached out a hand to steady her, just in case. She shot me a quick, almost grateful glance, and cleared her throat.

"Why, then," Courtney choked out, her voice strained, "Didn't she call me to tell me you were coming?" Trixsy's grin grew even wider.

"Mommy knows you love me soooo much that you wouldn't care! She even said I could stay over night!Court made a strange little yelping noise, her eyes wide.

"O-overnight?!" she whispered. Trixsy nodded so hard I thought her hair would fly off.

"Here?!?!?!?!" Courtney murmured, her eyebrows raised in panic. Trixsy somehow nodded harder.

My girlfriend slammed her eyes shut and sighed slowly. She folded her hands together and opened her eyes, plastering a smile on her face.

"Silly Trixs! You're joking!" she laughed forcefully, her face pleading.

"You mean," Court said. "You're staying here. In this house..." her voice was getting louder. "OVERNIGHT?!?!?!" she shrieked. Trixsy paused, putting a hand to her mouth.

"Uhm..." she hesitated. Courtney held her breath, her body tense beside me.

"Maybe not...." the kid looked down and shuffled her feet. My girlfriend breathed a long sigh of relief. She walked up to Trixsy and took her arm.

"Okay! Good! So...uh... I guess I'll take you home then!" Courtney took one arm and shot me a glance. I took the silent cue and grabbed her other arm. We began to pull her to the door. At first she followed along without complaint. This was going smoother than I had expected.

And then soon we were about three feet from the door. I gave a solid yank that should have sent Trixsy flying out the door. Instead there was dead weight. I looked back to check on the kid. She hand put her heels down and was leaning back against us with all her might. 

"I was kidding! I was KIDDING! Of course I'm staying!" She screamed at us, thrashing her legs around. Courtney and I exchanged a long look. Courtney bit her cheek, then rubbed her lips together in frustration.

"But, Trixs, I...wish... you could stay...But me and Duncan have things to do tonight..." Trixsy looked up at her with a confused expression.

"Who's Duncan?" she asked innocently. I gritted my teeth. She knew who I was. She was kind enough to kick me in the shins at least three times in the past five minutes. 

 "Him!" She pointed at me. "My boyfriend!" Trixsy grinned again and laughed.

"Courtney's gotta boyyyyyfrieeeennnd! COURTNEY'S GOT A BOYFRIEEENNNDDD!" she sang, running in happy little circles like a puppy. I don't know why this bothered me, but I blushed slightly and shuffled my feet on the ground.

Courtney glared at the kid and picked her up. Trixsy kicked her feet and shot Court a death glare.

"Heyyyyy! Put me down, you big meanie!" she wailed. I silently shook my head. I hoped Courtney could figure this out, because I was not going to be spending time with this little demon.

Courtney stared at her sternly.

"I'm going to put you down, but I need to clean some stuff up so I can get the grill ready. You have to be good for Duncan, okay?" Trixs grinned widely and nodded her head. Her eyes glinted, and I rubbed my temples. Yeah, this wasn't going to work. She was totally not going to listen.

"Courtney, you don't need the grill just yet...why can't you wait a while?" I pleaded. Courtney gave me a long look.

"Dun, we didn't eat anything. I didn't have breakfast or lunch, and neither did you. It's two o'clock right now. The grill is slow. We can have an early supper. I'm STARVING!" she told me logically. I sighed. She had a very good point.

"Finnnneeee," I growled. I grabbed Trixsy's hand and dragged her out to Court's living room.

"You, sit. Stay there. Don't move. I'll go find some movie that you can watch," I mumbled, pointing a finger at her. She crossed her arms and frowned.

"I'm not a dog, you know!" she whined. I glared at her. She returned the stare. I sighed and sulked over to Courtney's movie cabinet. I peered around, looking around for something adequate for a six year old.

It wasn't that hard. Court had more G movies than PG, PG-13 and R combined. Easily. There was hardly anything in there that I would appreciate. I frowned. Was that even normal? That a 18 year old had, like, fifty little kid shows? Nope, it was totally unnatural. And slightly disturbing. She had Sponge-Bob movies in here. 

I grabbed the first thing I saw, which happened to be the terrifying movie called "Horton hears a who", and returned to the living room.

"Trixsy, wanna watch Horton hears a Who? Really... great mov-" I broke off as I scoured the empty room. "Trixs?" I called. I checked behind the couch, and then behind the TV.

"Trixsy. Come out. NOW!" I shouted. I wasn't in the mood to play hide and seek. There wasn't so much as a giggle in response. I jogged outside to where Courtney was firing up the grill.

"The kid isn't out here with you, is she?" Courtney gave me a worried look and shook her head.

"Crap."