Thoughts

The Color Purple

Why is it that when we're young, we think relationships last forever? What makes us think that everything will work out?

We fall hard for others, with innocent intentions. To have fun and to be happy.

But that's not how it works out. Not for the young. We try to live our best life, but there's so much that could potentially get in the way of that. I think all young relationships have the potential to be something great, but the hard hit of reality reminds us that life isn't fair.

I went into my last relationship hoping for a loving, caring, kindhearted person. But what I got out of it was many firsts taken away, and an ex boyfriend that thinks he did nothing wrong.

Maybe I'm just jealous of others. Because the relationship that I wanted didn't work out. Jealous that some others had it better than I did. I dreamed of having something that others had.

Maybe I'm thinking about it too much. I am still super young for crying out loud. I guess I just crave the type of relationship I created in my head.

One day I'll get over this feeling. The situation isn't really serious. It's just me wanting something that isn't ready for me yet.

My time will come for my fairytale relationship. Just not now I guess.

Or maybe I'm just destined to be single forever? I also can't help this dire feeling that's washing over me constantly, you'll always be alone.

I've gotten hit on by older men, catcalled by men who don't respect women, and touched inappropriately by some stranger.

They look at me as some object of sex. Maybe that's all I'll ever be. Something men use for their own pleasure. And I'll be lost in my own feelings of worthlessness and disgust.

Destined to be loved, to be single, to be used. Who knows what's in store for me?