Sunflowers

i miss you.

I feel like no matter what I do, you'll always be in my mind.
The way you fucking laughed.
The way you fucking cried.
It made my heart want to fucking die.
The way we cuddled.
The way we wrote on one another's skin.
The way we played.
The way you smelled.
The way you left your scent behind on my couch and when you left all I could smell, was you.
Your voice.
Your fucking body.
I was in awe every time I fucking looked at you.
And i dont know why.
You where a prick.
The way you made my mom so angry.
You tore me.
You made rumors about me.
Like you where a damn child again.
But still.
I was here.
Letting you vent to me.
Letting you tell me how much you missed your ex.
Or how much you liked the girl you picked up last night.
Or how much you wanted to fuck my best friend.
But I still fucking fell for you.
You used to do no wrong in my eyes.
When all you where doing was wrong.
But I still felt something for you.
And here I am.
Not being able to get rid of that scent from my mind, or when I smell someone in public with that same smell.
I almost cry.
I remember one time.
When I couldn't bare myself.
I hated myself so much.
I thought I was the ugliest human being alive.
You grabbed my hand.
And made me look into your eyes.
And told me.
I was beautiful.
That I don't deserve the life i have.
That I was perfect.
You told me you wished i had everything.
And that's when I started losing him.
I have no clue as to why.
After that you changed.
And moved onto another bitch.
You tore me down.
And when you did that it felt as if someone stabbed a knife into my heart.
You made me worse.
To this day.
I can't get over.
About how much you used to care about me.
How close we where.
To be all gone in a blink of an eye.
And here is my dumbass.
Still not being able to get over you.
When your banging the girl across the street.
Caring less and less about me.
Every day.