i told myself in 2017 that i'd stop writing because it'd been a burden on my life for so long.
everyone was expecting something of me when i was afraid i'd disappoint and not live up to certain expectations, and 13-14 year old me thought it was too much.
even typing this up now is nearly bringing me to tears because of how much i hated what i was doing and how it wasn't fun anymore.
so i quit.
after "writing" on some things i was passionate about in the next coming months after my decision, i'd realized that i never really stopped. i was always writing.
i don't really know if that made any sense but what i'm trying to say is that sometimes God puts something in you that isn't supposed to go away no matter how much you want it to and for me that was writing.
i'm still trying to come to terms with it though.
i know for a fact that i don't want to do this and i still hate it with every fiber in my body but I can't stop.
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started: august 2, 2018 - 12:11am
