I think I'm getting my hope back
After a long dark tunnel
Don't get me wrong its still dark in here
But I'm beginning to find the match in my pocket
I've been trying to dig in my pocket for awhile now
and it may seem like a short time to others
But every single fucking day made me age 10 more years
To 20, 30 with bags under my eyes
and frankly right now I think I'm about 100 years old
With gray silver hair and a grainy voice
See I don't even know what I'm writing anymore
I have officially gone old and senile part 1 (because let's face it there are gonna be many parts in my life....part 2 is just around the corner)
But let's re track to what the point of this writing is in the first place
So yea I'm actually dancing without a care in the world
I'm actually smiling again
The one that reaches my eyes not the half ass ones anymore
Maybe so far its just been a good week
Maybe I'm just telling my self that I'm happier when in reality I'm really not
But I don't care
I really don't at this moment because im finding myself
It may be a bit different than the old me but I'm finally happy with that.
I want to truly just be
It took me a long time to learn that but I think I figured my complexity out
Not 100% but I'm getting there
So I'm reaching for this match
Its the size of a toothpick and the flame only glowers
But I'm brightening up the cave
I'm hoping that the wind doesn't blow it out anymore
Or my tears dampen the light
But I'll press on
Until I reach the end of the tunnel
I don't want it to eat me up anymore
I want to bathe in the light like I use to
And visit the darkness on occasion but not make it my base for comfort
Because this darkness comes with a price.
It always does.
