Abyss || Ashton Irwin

-2-Ashton-

I sit alone in the silence of my room staring at the blade in my hand

do i really want to do this?

Im slowly dying anyway.

I quickly swipe the cold metal accross my warm skin. Feeling the pain numb my thoughts. This is my one escape from the hurtful world outside my bedroom window.

I sigh as I feel the pain come back to me and I remember I have to leave or I'll be late for school. Might as well try to finish this year without wanting to kill myself. If that's even possible.

I rinse my new scar under cold water. Cringing at the pain hitting me like a punch to the face.

Man, how deep did I go this time?

I should probably be used to this pain by now but this was different. This was my psyche trying it's best to freak me out and scare me into curling into a ball.

As soon as I arrive at school I am roughly greeted by the usual jock picking on a freshman. I'm a senior so no one really pays much attention to me. Which is a good thing in my case.

An just in case they do try to talk to me I just close everyone out and enter my own train of thoughts.

I wish I didn't have to hide and be mute to everyone but it's my one way of keeping out everyone and causing me to have more aniexty.

Cause I know if I break down my walls and let people in ill just end up getting hurt. An will fall into an abyss of sadness and depression.

Not that this hasn't happened before.

I slowly quicken my pace down the almost empty halls of the biggest hell hole to ever exist.

High School.

i hear the usual comments shooting into me like bullets hoping to get a reaction but I just ignore them.

"Fag" one guy shouts at me.

"He's so gay it's causing radiation" I hear a group of girls say to each other but I still hear it.

I've grown accustom to these in the past two years. I just try to zone out and show no emotion to the people who are able to hurt me.

I rush to the restroom to gather my thoughts away from the constant teasing. An I end up just staring into a dark abyss that is my mind. It's a fucked up place in there. I would advice no one to try to see it cause they'll only run away. I leave the restroom to head to my first class of the day. History.

I used to have friends but they soon began to disappear the only one I've heard from recently was Michael. An it was about a year ago when that happened. He's in a mental institute due to him attempting suicide a year and a half ago. I still have yet to hear what happened to Luke and Calum.

They just one day disappeared.

(A:N)

So this is the first chapter in Ash's point of view. I will try to rotate the point if view every other chapter and will try to stay updated.

The chapters will get longer and don't forget to vote, share, and comment if you liked this story.

Julia xx