In Sickness, Health, and Full moons

Chapter Eleven [Azrael]

Movement beside her caused Azrael to blink her eyes awake just a second before Tanner reached for her. Still too locked in sleep for her brain to catch up, Azrael didn't question his tiny grunt as he more or less dragged her across the sheets to him. She'd come to expect it; his sudden need to hold to her usually a sign that he would wake up soon. But usually, he didn't cling to her like this, with one arm wrapped over her waist and the other sliding under her neck so her head ended up nestled into his shoulder. As his fingers found their way through her hair to rest on the back of her head, Tanner squeezed her a little bit closer and, with a contented sigh, dropped back off to sleep.

Azrael couldn't help her pleased hum as she snuggled up against him, but the ache in her body as she moved cut that pleasure short. Right. Tanner, their fight, the hotel. Why everything hurt so damn badly. She shouldn't be here, pressed up against him like this, in bed with him at all. She hadn't meant to fall asleep with him when she'd invited him to stay, she certainly hadn't meant for this.

But she didn't move. Because, if she really thought about it, she was exactly where she should be. It was everything else about the situation that was wrong, so horribly, heartbreakingly wrong. Azrael closed her eyes again, trying to keep her breathing steady as she moved much more gently, still burrowing into his warmth, but now doing everything she could to keep him from waking.

Of course, that couldn't last forever. Just a few silent, warm minutes with his arms around her and his skin on hers before she heard his breathing shift. Dammit. As she heard Tanner give a sleepy sniffle, felt his whole body move a little, she waited for him to untangle himself from her and take his comfort away. He never did, instead he froze for a second before tightening his arms around her and holding her against him, this time deliberately.

Oh. Again, Azrael teared up. He wanted her there. Seems they both had the same thought as they pretended to sleep, pretended that staying wrapped up like this was accidental: the second one of them opened their eyes, this moment ended. The second they opened their eyes, there were apologies between them, violence and so many uncertainties. Seemed neither of them were ready to face that again.

Trying to blink back her tears without giving any indication she was even awake, Azrael took a breath, too loud and too shaky. Tanner's body tensed around her, even his breathing seeming to stop. Tanner knows I'm awake. She braced herself for distance and nearly melted when his arms squeezed around her. I know he seemed to say as his fingers brushed lightly through her hair, I'm hurting too. Azrael closed her eyes again, her hands wrapping around the arm he held over her waist. They held each other for however long it took to accept that moment had to end. Minutes, horrible, wonderful minutes.

Slowly, Azrael pulled herself from Tanner's arms and pushed up into a sitting position, pretending she was only wiping the sleep from her eyes. Tanner sat up beside her and stretched, pretending he didn't know any better.

"Can you get me my phone?" Azrael asked through a yawn before the silence could get awkward. "Work phone? Should still be in my purse."

"Of course." While Tanner stood to fetch her phone, Azrael once again reclaimed the entirety of the blanket and wrapped it around herself, this time going up over her head too. Sleep did frighteningly little to make her feel any better, now she just felt kind of gross. I have no intention to leave this bed any time soon.

When Tanner handed the phone to her, she mumbled her thanks and turned it on, unable to stop herself from actually hissing at the unnecessary brightness and the spike of pain it shot through her skull. She chose to ignore the downright alarmed look Tanner sent her in favor of lowering that brightness what the fuck and checking her one text message. Just Alan checking on her.

Hi, are you feeling any better today? Can I swing by and bring you anything? How can I get my best girl back to work?

Azrael squinted down at her phone, her head apparently not a big fan of those tiny letters, so it took far too long to compose one text.

I'm fine, Alan, but I do think I'm going to need next week off too. Please don't come by, I need to rest.

His reply was frighteningly quick considering it was 4:30 in the afternoon and he was probably at the hospital.

Are you sure there's nothing I can do for you?

He could always stop texting her because it was making her head throb.

I'm sure. Thank you though. Try not to kill anybody while I'm gone.

I'll do my best.

Azrael shut off her phone screen, then looked up to Tanner, who'd taken a lot of interest in his fingernails as she completely ignored him to text someone else. Nice. "Sorry--" she put the phone on the nightstand next to the bed "--I wanted to make sure I wasn't going to get fired for curling up into a ball and not moving for a few days."

"You took time off?" He asked.

"Yeah. I nearly died a few times trying to get water while you were asleep, so I figured I'm not exactly capable of saving lives at the moment." Azrael had meant for her words to sound light, she was exaggerating at least a little, but Tanner only frowned. "Anyway, are you feeling any better after a little sleep?"

She didn't necessarily need to ask, she could already tell. She'd never been able to put her finger on what exactly changed in Tanner's eyes when he was tired, but she always knew and whatever that difference was had set off sirens in her head when he first walked in. Now he just seemed like he'd stayed up a bit too late, which wasn't anything unusual.

"I am, thank you."

"Good", Azrael nodded and tightened the blankets around her, burrowing herself into them as though that would protect her from the conversation they needed to have. "I told you I'd answer any questions you have and I promise to tell you the full, ugly truth, so ask away."