BTS one shots bxb

Me (namgi)

Min yoongi p.o.v.

Crazy, that's what they all called me. I was not known to be the normal one in my family good grades and athletes were appreciated but the only thing wrong with me was that, in order to that I had fair skin, skin as white as snow way more softer than a baby's and honestly I hated all of it, I hated myself since I was a kid because I was not "normal" all my life all I had ever wanted was to fit in to be a part of the crowd but alas! God had other plans. I never loved myself before until I met this man a man who showed me, me who showed me what life means and what being special means.  a guy I once saw in the library had changed my life more than anybody ever has, he was clumsy like super clumsy heavy fat books in his arms a big thick pair of glasses on and a few words of apology left his mouth as he unconsciously stepped on other visiters feet, he seemed to be a rich lad from the clothes that he was wearing it was clear that they were something from Gucci and Guess, that was one of the most surprising things that happened on that day, It was quite an unusual occurrence after all young men like him would never venture places like these not because it didn't have comic books or something it belonged to a very secluded area of the whole crowded city of Seoul, somewhere in the dark end the place was surrounded by homes owned by the old people or kids who would leave their old parents in these places and except for them no one else would come here, I wanted to work in a quite and serene place once, I had come with my best friend to meet his granny and fell in love with the place and the library and had immediately signed up for the hiring. Coming back to where we left, the guy was actually finding things here to read and the books he had picked were quite interesting they were mainly focused on loving oneself and deep philosophy those were the type of books that people would accidentally choose and keep them back the moment they read the cover page of the said book, my eyes followed him for the whole day although it seemed like I was stalking him I didn't really care like what would these people who can't see what's right in front of them would do to me, the boy was indulged in his book like he had just found the most beautiful thing ever, his eyes would go comically large when  he would find something interesting and his eyebrows would furrow in a v-line shape when he would be confused and the most adorable, cutest, softest smile would would burst out on his face when there was something hilarious and honestly I would  have stared at him all day long if it wasn't for old jihyun scolding me for being distracted while at work that guy is a handful sometimes I had wished lucifer would personally come and take his soul and sometimes I'd look at his subtle way of taking care of me and wished he would never be troubled ever in his whole entire life, The young lad had finished reading his books and now was deciding what book to take home and surprisingly enough he took a  book that was titled " LOVE YOURSELF : TEAR    "
He came upto me and started speaking in the most beautifully deep voice that made both my heart flutter and skip a beat "ummm, I'd like to borrow this book" he mumbled embarrassed and it was so cute it took everything in me to not burst out and pinch his cheeks "yeah! Sure kid" I said and he looked at me with a small smile before handing me the book for me to do the further procedure "there you go! It's all done just remember to return it before next weekend, just hand me over me your name and contact number so that I'll be able to contact you if you violate the terms" I said something I've memorised for this job he smiled towards me again and I was internally screaming and I'm pretty sure I'd have fainted if this guy did that again "umm yeah sure I mean my name is namjoon, Kim namjoon and the mobile number is 0082xxxxxxx" he said the awkwardness still stuck in his tone "well namjoon-shi have a good weekend I'm yoongi your attendant" I flashed a Gummy smile before waving  him goodbye and he smiled a large dimple smile again and trust me I actually did faint.

I went back home after a hectic day, I love the people there all of them but sometimes it just gets tiring and after such a long day all I had wanted was to go home and sleep but that would be a fucking miracle in this excuse of a house who would've thought in such a beautiful place like Seoul, in the main streets of Seoul, a big building inside Seoul, and in this room in Seoul would be like this that living would be a pain If you'd ask, let me introduce to you this depressing sad story of mine my parents left me at a young age I have been stuck with my two elder brothers since then although they are arrogant bastards they care about me at least a little bit that's what I like to think they don't visit me anymore after they got married both my sister-in-laws felt disgusted towards me the first time they met me, the very next day I received a text from my oldest brother telling me that he couldn't afford an apartment for me anywhere near to them and although I had been disappointed I wasn't surprised this was bound to happen people were bound to leave me alone, I was in a relationship with this guy he and I had been together for almost 2 years but left me because his parents couldn't accept a guy who looks almost dead and I couldn't blame him honestly I knew we couldn't go far but maybe I had expected a bit too much, I used to have a friend jimin, park jimin he was a good guy a very honest guy he would tell what was in his mind our friendship was solid good until someone appeared out of nowhere and snatched my friend away from me besides jimin nobody ever spoke to me as I was known to be a cold looking guy but nobody ever tried to talk to me only assumed I was truly happy for my friend but i felt lonely very much, jimin didn't tell me but moved to another city with his boyfriend and I may or may not have cried over it so there it is my story of loneliness I hated being in my own skin I hated almost everything about myself killing myself was something I always wanted and still want to and honestly love seemed like a bitter sweet thing to me now I used to think that I was cursed but now I kind of know I'm cursed, trudging into my apartment I closed the door behind me being welcomed by the everlasting loneliness I made a beeline to my bedroom dropped my bag changed my clothes and opened my social media account I never did that before no that was like a bad thing but now with this guy in hand I had to I impatiently typed his name on the search bar and a lot of people popped up and amongst those I got intrigued by a specific profile it had the weirdest name but the picture in the profile promised me otherwise there he was the dimpled hotty cutey his profile name was destruction monster and a picture of him with 3 other boys was pasted on the picture area without me knowing I had spent 3 hours stalking this boy every picture I saw every video i saw it was always accompanied with some beautiful words as a caption one of the pictures that interested me the most was a picture of himself in a beach which I had immediately recognized as the famous ilsan beach it was taken at night from the looks of it the boy was standing there facing backwards to the camera the picture was very beautiful and what made it gorgeous was the caption
"why isn't there a word that's the opposite of loneliness?
Could it be because people don't know they are lonely until they die?"
What could a guy like him know about pain is a thought a lot of people would think of as soon as they saw him good fortune good looks good friends good everything but after all the saying that nothing is perfect is true we never know what's happening in one person's life but yet just like everybody else we assume, I am not really a good cook I can't cook  for life so instead of burning my house down I called for delivery and with 8 slices of pizza and a bottle of Pepsi I surrendered to sleep. For the next few days I didn't see him and I may or may not have been a bit too desperate to see him that people and especially jihyun started suspecting me asking me if I was waiting for someone, and finally the day came but today instead of looking like a rich lad he came in like what people would say normal clothes, the type that screamed lazy a white button up and faded black jeans with vans, his hair was left carelessly to flow in the direction of the wind his lips were swollen as if he had biting them, he looked around the library as If he was here for some secret mission and then looked towards me with an embarrassing blush he trudged towards me "hey! We meet again, umm I'm namjoon I came here to return the book and borrow an another one" he said "hello, well you can go and select the book you want until then I'll check this one out" I replied to the fidgeting boy, he walked towards the shelves and picked the desired book out it was yet again a book of loving oneself it was a great book written by someone called rm the book was named in cursive bold letters 'LOVE YOURSELF: WONDER' I've never really read books in this library but a few had irked my interests I never really had time for that looking back carefully at the book he had taken earlier I see that it's an another edition of the same series 'LOVE YOURSELF' and decided on checking these books out once I've got time with no further ado the dimple boy walks up to the desk and hands over the book to me I do the wanted stuff while I was doing so I felt strong gazes on me and figured that the boy before me is staring at me very intensely I clear my throat and he blushes before looking down again "I'm sorry, it's just that your skin is so white, I've never met someone with that skin tone" oh! Another judgement well I'm used to it now so I just roll my eyes at him and scoff which took his attention and as if a kid had said so something wrong he shakes his hand and head frantically in front if me denying his staement " I get it kid I freak you out, but I can't fckng help it your god made me like this" I harshly replied and I saw a glint of sadness and regret in his eyes "no! No! No! I didn't mean it that way, I'm really sorry if I offended you I just meant that your skin is beautiful and fair as snow it looks soft too I've never seen a beauty like yours" for a blushing guy a few minute earlier he sure is a bold and wise guy with his words and honestly I've never Benn told something like this before, not even my ex I just blushed bashfully "ummm! Thanks?" I was the awkward one now giving him a shy smile I waved him off as he turned to leave but before he could he did something that took me off guard he abruptly snatched the book from me giving me a sheepish smile he rushed to the nearest reading table and did something and then came back again gave me the book and left with a dimple smile I couldn't help but return it either. Being a curious I opened the book to find a small paper folded messily I flipped the paper open and what I saw next made me feel good about me for the first time in my whole life time it said;
" Let go of your fears and chase after your dreams"
Although the handwriting was a huge mess the words struck my heart never have I ever thought that someone I don't have any relation with would make such a difference in my life the whole day I had what a lot of people say a gummy smile flashing so bright people who came in and went out would compliment me and to say that my cheeks had been flaring red wouldn't be a lie. After all these years, when I left for home I was not dreading because I was awaiting, waiting to do something finally after so many years as soon as I entered my house I did my usual routine and then took a long sigh and a 15 min prep talk calmed myself down and dialed that number I haven't dialed in 2 years the number that I've by hearted the number that used to annoy me every day but now it doesn't come even once in2 years my eldest brothers phone number *ring *ring
"hello" that voice that I've missed so much, the voice that I crave for "hello, h-hyung, it's me yoongi" it's been so long since I said the word 'hyung' "oh! Y-y-Yoongi,how are you buddy" he said "I'm fine hyung, how are you?" I talked liking the way this conversation  but this was not my motive I had to deal with it now or it's never "I'm fine too, how is school" he asked I let a soft sad chuckle leave my mouth "hyung, I graduated school 4 years ago " I said with a  little to no emotion in my voice and was replied with silence as if he couldn't find any other words "hyung I called to let you know something if you don't mind can you say this to woozi hyung too?" "yeah sure, what is it" he replied "I-i-i I'm soon going to graduate it's just 2 months away after which I finally leave that hell, and I wanted to tell you that thank you, thanks for bringing me to such a  wonderful place thanks for letting me study in such a good place hyung I'm, I'm gay and I'm proud to be one just to let you know that I have come to a decision that I'll send all your and his money by tomorrow to your respective accounts just remember to collect it you have all rights to cut me off from your lives you can even block my number I've you want I won't bother you just know this hyung that I'm very grateful to you and that I love you hyung I love woozi hyung as well " I stopped ranting to take a deep breath I was gay hell I knew my soul was gay the moment I jerked off to a random guy I saw on the internet when I was in 9th grade but I never admitted it out aloud cuz I was scared of judgement never knew how a few words of wisdom could take me to a situation like this but honestly I don't really mind I love it even the fact that not much has to be done to achieve something now I felt like a butterfly a free one, one with no burden and heaviness just me and a pair of wings now I felt like I could fly the line on the other side was silent for a good 5 min and surprisingly enough I for the first time wasn't scared of the silence "when's your graduation day?" he asked and damn! I choked on air is he seriously not asking me anything but that "ummm, on 5th May" I said a little bit awkwardness apparent "oh! Okay, I love you too my sugar" he said before hanging up that word he called me by my nickname the one that he gave to me years ago.

The next week namjoon has been visiting our shop a lot lately an dwell manage to have frequent conversations. But this day seemed a bit different than the others It was 6:00 p.m now, the cue for the dimple boy to walk in except that today he walks in with two other guys along with him a guy shorter than him who looks just like  a bunny and from the looks of it innocently bratty as he walks in everybody in the shop turn to him and he winks at them the audacity, and then an another guy with broad ass shoulders and a handsome godly face blows kisses around muttering the handsome king all the way up till the desk "HI! Gummy hyung, that's what namjoon hyung calls you(*whispers), my monster hyung here wasn't gifted balls so here we are for his rescue I'm jungkook by the way" says the bunny boy, before he gets smacked by the other guy "OW!", "Language young man, so yeah my boy here is scared out of his chips to ask you out on a date" as soon as he said that namjoon blushes like a red light on the traffic signal "hyung~~~~, I told you to help me bit embarrassed me" said joon now isn't he a cute  potato "hyung you asked jin hyung to help you what did you expect" the poor guy got smacked again  that made me burst into a smile "uwah! Hyung you were right he does look adorable when he smiles" said jungkook, the kid was weird but cute like a toddler excited about almost everything "God! Kill me already" muttered namjoon "now If he did, how would we go on a date huh!" I said which caught his attention and he himself bursted into a big ass smile "omo! Omo! Is it finally happening like Namjoon hyung would stop ranting about you all week, hyung jin hyung do you hear that, we are FREE" screeched the youngest of us all and everybody in the library where cooing at him but what he said next made me want to smack him with a  pole "everybody together, yoongi hyung and namjoon hyung sitting on a tree and k-i-s-s-i-n-g" and honestly all these people were actually singing along and I heard a  "finally" from a group of lady's that come here like where we that obvious chuckling namjoon turns towards me "so hyung, wanna stay here and get more embarrassed or...." he asked with raised eyebrow "let's leave before I commit murder" and so we hastily left not before "HYUNG! USE PROTECTION, BE SA*OW*OW*JIN HYUNG LEAVE MY EAR" laughing our asses we left off walking the road ahead of us not knowing what's to come or where we will land in this journey but no matter what happens a silent promise that day I had made to myself that I may lose anybody but I won't lose me or him anytime now cuz with him I see me the real me.

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Hope you like it
Spread lots of love,
I know the ship namgi is not very famous and not a lot of people ship it but I couldn't help it
Your author~
Rukkie😘😘