Fire & Ice

Fire & Ice (15)

I glanced up at Aditya, I didn't know how to answer him. How on earth could I tell him that yes I feared what he could do but I feared loving him more. Nothing seemed to matter as much as that, he may have been the most dangerous man, but he made me feel safe. This sudden change in my feelings made me feel sick, this wasn't who I used to be

Suddenly, I was stood up and so was he, his hand on my cheek as he leant his forehead against mine "Im so sorry habibti, for wanting you, for not leaving you alone, for dragging you into this mess and being selfish"

This was wrong, he deserved to have something of his own, before I could speak he walked over to the door

"Take care habibti, please don't take that necklace off, I don't ever want to hear that they hurt you, it would kill me"

"Wait, where are you going" my chest hurt and I suddenly felt very dizzy, I had only just got him back, I couldn't lose him again

"Away, somewhere safe where they wont find me until I work out how to get out of this mess" I went to step forward but he shook his head "Don't make this any harder than necessary please"

"Wait, Aditya" I grabbed his hand "You can't do this"

"You're scared of me habibti and I cannot look at you and see that in your eyes, I cannot put you in danger not for my own selfish reasons, but you are something special, i'm just sorry the circumstances aren't any different" he looked down at me, that very same look of indifference back on his face again

"I, i'm not, would you just listen to me"

"Habibti there is nothing left to listen to" he pulled the door open

I slammed it closed with my hand "You don't get to do this, you don't get to ask to see me, then tell me you're leaving again because I got momentarily freaked out because of you fighting, i'm human and this is new to me, you're used to it, i'm not, but you know what, I wont judge you for fighting when its something you have to do, I dont fear you, I know you will never hurt me, you can do what you like, when you like, but don't you dare walk out that door with my damn heart, for three whole months I cried myself to sleep everynight struggling to find the scent in your jacket you gave me, for three months I walked around with no energy, I pushed myself into work just so I would be so tired when I got home I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night screaming your name, for three whole months I wondered what was so wrong with me that made you leave, I stood under the shower scrubbing at my body because I felt dirty and used only to cry after because I had nothing left of the best night of my life, then I found out you never left me and I hated myself for ever doubting you, I gripped onto this necklace till my fingers bled because that meant you were with me, now you want to walk out that damn door and leave me to pick up the pieces of the fucking catastrophe that is Aditya Hooda, no, no you don't get to do that to me, you don't get to break my heart, you fight every enemy head on but you wont stay here and fight for me, fine then, don't, but i'm going to fight for you, you know why, because I love you, you stupid stupid man" I heard my voice crack then I was crying

"I" Aditya sighed "Habibti, i'm sorry, I didn't know" he stepped closer outstretching a hand

"Are you blind aswell as stupid or is this just plain ignorance, don't try and fix this by touching me" I stepped back

The look on his face broke my heart "Im sorry, I am an idiot, I just never expected you to love a man like me, god I never even expected you to look at me, let alone talk to me" he blew out air from the side of his mouth in a low whistle "Im sorry, please don't distance yourself from me now habibti, you don't know how long i've waited to have you in my arms again, the thought of you was the only thing that kept me strong"

I wrapped my arms around his waist "I hate you, you know that right"

I heard him inhale deeply, his face burried into my hair "Hm, I know" he sighed loudly, his hand patting my head

I shook my head "Im just happy you're home"

He chuckled, holding me tighter "Oh habibti, I was home the minute I saw you in that cell"

"That's quite cheesy, whoever knew the most dangerous man could be so cute"

He shrugged "Guess you changed me" his eyes fell on the clock "I have to go habibti"

As much as I wanted nothing more than to go with him, I knew I couldn't, I had a life, a life I couldn't just up and leave without some form of a goodbye. I hugged him slightly tighter before stepping back "Well, when will I hear from you next"

Aditya stroked his thumb across my cheek "Ill try to be in touch as soon as I can, I wish you could come with me, but I know I can't ask that of you"

I smiled "I wish I could come to, but theres just so much I can't leave behind, where will you go"

"I've heard Dubai is quite nice this time of year" he pressed a kiss to my forehead "Don't wait for me habibti, I dont know when ill be back or if I will be"

I nodded "Just be safe, maybe fate will intervene before then and we will meet" I looked away, my mouth dry and my throat scratchy, I didnt want to cry right now

"We will meet again, that's a promise" Aditya dropped his arms from around my body "Don't forget me habibti, I hope ill be back in time to make an honest woman out of you before someone else does"

My jaw dropped "You're such a flirt, now go" my eyes were teary as I watched him grab a bag from his house and throw it in the boot of his car, why couldn't I fall in love with a normal guy who wasn't constantly on the run? I waved as he drove off, no longer able to keep the tears at bay as my phone buzzed at my side

"Zoya, beti I have great news for you, we found the motherload" I heard my Abbu speak

I blinked slowly "The motherload, what do you mean"

"Oh beti, you know i've been working on that case to catch that group of men from Arab, we've just got news that the leader of them has been spotted with a woman near an old estate, he seemed to be injured, it will make it easier to get him, but we don't know who the woman is"

Aditya was going to be arrested, this could not be happening. How did I manage to forget my Abbu was looking for them, the happiness in his tone made me feel sick "Abbu, ill call you back" I slipped my phone into my pocket and ran to my car, I had to get there before they did