Closeted.

Chapter Three -- Two Layers of Clothing.

         By the time I get into June's room I am trembling in fear. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this... I repeat to myself over and over in my head. June lies on her bed in the same way I left her. Except for one noticeable difference; this time she is very much naked.

        "Oh, God..." I mumble to myself and resist the urge to cover my eyes again.

        "Well? Did you get them?" She acts like this sort of thing happens to her everyday. And like she isn't completely lacking any garments of clothing.

        "Yeah..." I say as I toss the box of condoms on her bed beside her. I stay still, feeling quite awkward.

        "So... Kiss me," She instructs, giving me a lip gloss coated kissy face.

        I sit on the bed with her and start to kiss her, but it feels so wrong and uncomfortable, I pull away as she reaches for my pants.

        "Sorry, but can we...not?" I ask as I get off of her bed. I feel incredibly confused with...everything. I run my fingers through my hair multiple times and walk back and forth in a straight line.

        "But we haven't even reached the fun part yet. Daniel. Please stay." She begs me as I reach the door.

        "No. I just...I REALLY don't want to have sex with you. Like at all. I'm not into it. I'm not...feeling it." I pull the door open quickly and run through the gigantic maze of her house until I find the front door, which is my escape from this crazy girl that wants to do things to me, and get into my car and drive away.

        "Daniel! We can sort this out! Daniel!" She calls after me, but I don't go back because I know how it will end, she'll be left crying and I'll be left hating myself. It will be exactly like how Lauren and I ended. And I hate seeing history repeat it's self.

+++

        The next day at school I couldn't help, but search every single one of my classes for the French Fry Boy and the times in which I found him, he'd already be staring at me so, I'd blush and look away. Oh my God, I was being such a cliche.  But he was staring at me. That made me blush harder. I'm pretty sure I will learn nothing in the classes I have with him this whole school year.

+++ 

        During lunch, one of my friends, Nick, leaned over me to talk to the person sitting across from me, his abs pressed up against my back, only two layers of clothes separating us. I could feel the toned muscle of his stomach and how it vibrated when he spoke. His chest rising and falling with every breath he took. Only two layers of clothes that could easily be removed...

        What the Hell? No, that didn't happen. None of this makes any sense. So, I'm just going to ignore it. I'll think about it later, but right now I'm going to pretend that all of this never even happened. Because that's easiest and what's easiest is best, right? Right. Okay. I'm okay.

        "Hey. Sorry for leaning over you and all to talk to Joe. 'Heard about the break-up, man. There is someone out there for you, though." He aimlessly set his hand on my shoulder and my skin burst into flames. I don't like guys. Let alone straight guys. I'm a straight guy. Guys are a no. Girls are a yes. Guy, no. Girl, yes.

        "Thanks." I said and tried to concentrate on the intense argument over which teacher was the most annoying in the eleventh grade going on around me. So far, it seems the English teacher, Mr. Huber, with his thick German accent and his obsession with Shakespearean plays -all of which he insisted on reading to us- was in the lead.      

+++

        That night, I can't sleep. I just stay awake and stare at the glow in the dark star stickers I haphazardly arranged on my ceiling when I was I kid. I don't know why I never took them down. Maybe it was because I like to stay in touch with my previous self. Or maybe I'm just a lazy ass who never plans anything and never gets anything done. I'd like to say it was because of the first choice, but I know it was really the ladder. I couldn't get the French Fry boy's face out of my mind but, whenever it popped up I'd put a big fat red X over it like 'No. This is not for you.' He's like a song that is endlessly stuck in your head, no matter what you do. And when ever you come across another song, you're so used to his song that you don't want anything else. I confuse myself infinitely.

        When I was finally tired enough to sleep, my alarm clock went off and I had to get ready for school. Why does life have to be such a pain in the ass sometimes?